Lavi's Diary
by NerdyKnitter
Summary: 100,000 word quest! Lavi wants to write 100,000 words in his diary. Of course he will find a way to annoy his friends with this funny and insane Laviness in his 100,000 word quest! 8D


A/N- Hi! Yay! Thanks for reading! (My stories haven't been that popular... I'm not very good at writing so I really appreciate your visit!) :D (Oh no! Millennium Earl smile!) Reviews are welcome and appreciated!

Disclaimer - DGM doesn't belong to me... Sorry to disappoint you.

A/N- this is only the first few bits. I will update this soon and hopefully I will eventually have all 100,000 words.

_**December 25**_

Dear Diary (who I am affectionately naming Kitty after my favorite animal ever),

I need to do something defiant! I have been nice to people all day! So, I have decided to dedicate all the few pages contained within you to a very deviant purpose... I will write at least 100,000 words in this diary and have the most longest entry ever! Muahahahahahahaha! Oh ... wait... I don't cackle. I haven't been myself lately ... can you tell? Oh, wait, we just met... Where are my manners? I haven't even shaken hands with you or asked your name. I just rudely forced one upon you. I am so sorry. Now, if you could just tell where your hands are so that I could shake one of them.

Allen needs my help with opening a door at the very end of a really long empty hallway. I'll be back...

l8r,

Lavi

_Dear Lavi,_

_You have really neat handwriting. I would be jealous... If mine wasn't a trillion times better. Wait... I don't like you. Che! Why do I even bother! Leave me alone you creeper!_

_Che!_

_P.S. My name is Kanda, to you. You would do well to call me as such._

_P.S.S. Che..._

_P.s.s.s._

Dear Kitty,

I love making Yu mad! Anyway, I thought just so I wouldn't get REALLY bored, I thought I'd tell a few stories. Here goes nothing! I must warn you, I'm not at my best when I'm trying to write at least 100,000 words just to be annoying. Hopefully, this will still be entertaining though.

"But we have to conquer Macedonia!" one consul said. "Their king sided with Carthage during the last Punic war!"

"If we invade, we'll destroy important historical artifacts and people who can share their culture with us," the second consul replied.

"Exactly. So we'll invade but not destroy..." The two consuls walked away, discussing what they should do. As the two men planned their invasion, Apollo, god of foresight, saw that the Romans would attack after leaving Greece and the rest of Macedonia with no time to prepare for war.

"Athene!" Apollo cried. "Athene, please help me! I have had a vision of the future!" Apollo knew that the wise Athena was the one who could help him sort out what he saw and plan what to do because of it.

"Please, Apollo, share your vision with me," Athena replied. Apollo told Athena about the vast seas of men of all sorts - from the venerable kings to the callow children who were just out of their nonage and had never experienced anything like they were about to witness. He told of the marching, the war and how the end was a mystery even to him. After a few moments of careful consideration, Athene replied, "Well, I believe it is best not to interfere."

Just as Apollo had said, within a few days, the two consuls agreed on a plan and sent legions of warriors to fight for Macedonians. After the war was through and the Romans had one, the two consuls and some of their advisers and other respected and educated members of the community traveled to Greece and spoke to Greek citizens.

"So your traditions sound interesting, but why do you do them? What is your religion?" someone asked.

"Zeus is the king of our gods. He rules the sky and watches over all of us. He sends down lightning bolts to punish people. Zeus has two brothers: Poseidon and Hades. Only Poseidon, god of the sea, is recognized as an Olympian, a court of the 12 most powerful and important gods..." So the Greeks told the Romans about their religion sparing no detail. The more the Romans heard, the more they liked the stories and the gods and goddesses.

"Athene! Did you just see what I just saw?" Apollo inquired.

"Well what is it that you saw?"

"It was the Romans! They've adopted us! They seemed to love the stories the Greeks told them about us!"

"That's cool, but why do I get the feeling that there is something you're not telling me?"

"While this may seem good at first, their is a sour note to the situation. The Romans wish to change our names! They want to 'Romanize' them! Hera, for example. They are planning to defile our Queen Hera by calling her Juno. And Hades! Hades will be called Pluto!"

"Pluto! That sounds like the name of a planet!"

"Well what about Jupiter! That sounds like the name of a big brown liquid gas-giant planet with a great red spot, but it is what the Romans will call Zeus!"

"You're right, but is there a point to this?"

"Yes. First, I'd like to say that you were right and getting mixed up in this business and helping the Greeks spread the knowledge of is was a bad idea. I think I'd rather have people believe I did not exist than to have them call me by a new name. Thank goodness the Romanization of 'Apollo' is 'Apollo'. Anyway, I also would like to ask you a small favor. Please tell me how we get out of this!"

"I know just the thing!"

"What?"

"We'll call a meeting of the Olympians!"

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

"I am Zeus' favorite daughter, aren't I?"

"Very wise..."

"Well, what did you expect?"

Zeus, who was quite famous for his random acts of perfect timing, just happened to be committing one of those acts right then. He waled by Athena and Apollo and asked, "Did I hear you mention me?"

Athene figured that now was as good a time as any to ask for the favor. Athena gave a small curtsy as he began, "As a matter of fact Zeus, King of gods and kings, father of all of us, I do have a small favor to ask you." Athene explained the situation to Zeus who quickly called a meeting of the twelve Olympians. Soon, they were all sitting majestically on their thrones.

The king of the gods began the conversation. "It has come to my attention that the Romans have taken us for their own."

"And what is wrong with that?" Poseidon asked.

"Well, they aren't just taking us and giving us more responsibility and more power, but they are changing us, perhaps defiling us, by presenting us with new names that are in their language. I am to be called Jupiter." At this point a few of the gods and goddesses stifled laughs. "Hera is to be called Juno, but they will not stop there! No! There will be new names for most of us! Now, what shall we do about this?"

Shocked gasps and expressions quickly traveled around the room. Some whispered a few quiet suggestions. It wasn't long before Athena shared her solution.

"I have an idea. We should try something new, something the Romans would not expect from us. We've sent people to demons and vice versa, asked the fates to cut ropes, not helped people, abandoned civilizations, and countless other things. When was the last time any of you cursed someone? I-"

Athena's question was rhetorical, but Dionysius answered, "Actually, I cursed a land owner last week for making wine that was not blessed by me or given to me as an offering. Of course it didn't work well because we need the entire council to put a real curse on someone and have the curse actually works. Which reminds me, while we're here, can we put a curse on that man over there. You know the one with the big winery h-"

"Okay... That doesn't count. Anyway, we've never really cursed people before," Athena continued. "I think it is a good solution."

"Sounds good," Zeus said. "All in favor say 'gods rule!'"

The gods cheered, "Gods rule!" but the godesses sat there annoyed (and rather insulted) staring at the gods. A few of the goddesses cleared their throats as a hint to the gods.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Zeus said. Allow me to rephrase that. All in favor say, 'Olympians rule!'"

This time every one cheered. The goddesses thanked Zeus for kindly remembering them.

"It sounds like everyone agreed, but just in case I need to say this: all opposed say, ',' three times backwards while standing on their heads."

" three times backwards while standing on their heads." Dionysius said.

"What is it this time?" Artemis asked.

"Well I thought we were going to put a curse on that farmer dude down there, but then all of a sudden little miss I'm the favorite, Athene, interrupts me and talks about putting a curse on the Romans? Seriously, what have the Romans ever done to us? Why do they deserve a curse? Well, there is no good reason is th-"

"Overruled," Zeus interrupted.

"Okay. A curse it is.." Hephestus said a little too excitedly.

"What kind of curse?" Hestia asked.

Aphrodite quickly suggested, "A love potion..."

"I could go send a quick message of warning to the Romans ant tell them that we keep our names or they get cursed. You know, just to be fair," Hermes suggested.

"You just don't like the name Mercury," Ares blurted.

"What does that have to do with anything? I'm offering to give the Romans a chance to change their ways before we curse them. Does that sound like someone who wants to get revenge for a terrible name?" Hermes defended.

"You're right," Ares said. Everyone was shocked, but Athena knew something was coming. "Mercury is a better name then Hermes. Hermes makes you sound like a hermaphra-"

"Ares!" Athena yelled.

"ORDER!" Zeus demanded. Everyone stared. "What," Zeus asked defensively. "I've been watching a lot of Judge Judy lately!"

"Really..." Hera said.

"Anyway," Athene said trying to get the group back on track. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Aphrodite."

"WHAT!" the 11 other Olympians, including Aphrodite, roared.

"Well," Athena said. "I haven't had much time to think it through (it's hard with all this fighting), but I think a love potion might work. If Aphr-"

"Hey! Hermy over here isn't the only one who has a terrible Greek name! Aphro! Oh, my gosh! Her name is Aphro! That's so... I don't know... Groovy." Ares said.

"So you're opposed to?" Zeus inquired.

"I forgot," Ares began. He flipped and dived off his throne landing in a hand stand. He slowly lowered his head towards the ground and lifted his hands. ". . ."

"THANK YOU!" Zeus exclaimed. "Finally someone does what I ask!"

"Anyway," Athena began again. "As I was saying, if Aphrodi-"

"Why do I always have to do all the work" Aphrodite whined.

"What," Hera roared. "YOU do all the work? I don't think so..."

Hera continued to yell at Aphrodite as Ares whispered to Zeus, "Those girls and their cat fights..." Zeus laughed.

Hera slapped Zeus and the other goddesses glared at him. Ares chuckled.

Athena cleared her throat. "Hmmm! Um, are you guys ready to work?"

"We still need to decide on a punishment," Dionysius said

"No, we already did that. We're cursing the Romans. Get of it," Zeus said.

Hades appeared out of nowhere. "Doesn't my opinion count?" People stared at started to whisper but nobody said anything to Hades so he continued. "Aww, coe one! I'm your brother! What have I ever done against you? Besides, my name will be changed too."

Then Persephone appeared. "He has a point," Persephone said. "Our names are going to be changed and we don't like it either. I think we should all have our voiced heard in the matter of-"

"More opinions are good," Demeter said, appearing next to her daughter.

Soon there was a whole group of "little guys" who wanted their opinions heard. Eventually other mythical figures showed up. Gorgons, graces, minor gods and goddesses, fates, cyclopses, minataurs, muses giants, titans, spirits, and many other things appeared.

"We've been here for 2 and 1/2 hours and we're still deciding whether or not we should punish them," Athena complained.

"Okay, okay," Zeus yelled. "BE QUIET!" Everyone looked over at Zeus silently. "Here's what we're gonna do..."

Eventually they decided that they should bring a drought to Rome until they decided to give the gods their names back. Unfortunately, this made the Romans build the aquaeducts so they didn't even realize they had been cursed.

New story! Hey, see if you can catch the references to other stuff!

It was a rainy afternoon. No, it was a very rainy afternoon. It sounded as if the clouds above had joined a band and were really fast, really bad percussionists. The raindrops were huge - as if the man in the moon was crying huge alligator tears because the woman in the moon left him for another man in another moon (and he really loved her). The interesting rain, that could easily be stared at and contemplated about by many creatures merely bored Rhode. She spun around the room holding Lero by his handle at the farthest extent of her arm.

"I'm dizzy Lero!" Lero exclaimed while becoming increasingly, and obviously, dizzy. Eventually, Lero passed out from the dizzyness, a recently learned trick that he taught himself so as to avoid entertaining Rhode by regurgitating all the food, or sometimes bile he had accumulated, over the past week or so. Eventually, Rhode got bored of Lero's lack of action and set him free. She then went off to discuss some matters with her evil, demented, perverted, creeper of an affectionate friend kin of thing, the Sennen Hakushaku.

(And while I'm talking about him, I may as well include a modified Haiku {with 8 syllables in the middle instead of 7} that I wrote about him... With help... Here goes...

Ode to a Creeper

You are a creep. So,

Sennen Haku-(I-will)-Shak(oo)

You scare all of us.

Wasn't that awesome? I was nervous that it would be bad... But I love it! Anyway, Back to the story,..)

This left Lero alone to do as he pleased. "Okay'" he thought, "Better check the chat room" Lero signed in.

_PumpkinHead: Um... Hello Lero?_

_IBiteHeads: Lero?_

_PumpkinHead: Tim? No, it's Kanda. I'm just using Lero's account._

_IBiteHeads: Really?_

_PumpkinHead: No, you idiot Lero!_

_IBiteHeads: I couldn't agree more._

_PumpkinHead: Really Lero?_

_IBiteHeads: Wholeheartedly. Lero is an idiot._

_PumpkinHead: I am no such thing Lero!_

_IBiteHeads: Why are you always talking to yourself? I mean seriously, your first message was 'Hello Lero!" If that's not stuck-up, I don't know what is. Plus, that is totally talking to yourself and why would you chat with yourself when you can have a nice conversation with yourself without a computer? You don't even need to have a nice conversation, a mean conversation would suffice. Anyway, why would you do that?_

_PumpkinHead: Because I'm a conceited jerk who is so proud that my master is a big bad 'ekusishisuto'...Lero. Wait, that sounds like you... Lero..._

_IBH: I'm sorry, Lero, but you seem to be a bit confused. Actually, you seem to be confused about a lot of things (ex. You're the stuck-up one!). I'm calling a mental hospital right now..._

_PH: Jerk!... Lero_

_IBH: You'll be delighted to know that they do send straight jackets!_

_PH: You are so mean!_

_IBH: Yes, you are!_

_PH: I didn't say Lero... I'm breaking the habit. I've been trying to for a while, but it's addicting... Maybe that's why my head is disproportional to the rest of my body..._

_IBH: You're ugly body!_

_PH: Jerk!_

_IBH: I'm not calling anyone short! Anyway, Giant Friendly Mushroom!_

_PH: Where? Where?_

_IBH: Kidding!_

_PH: Anyway, you should try saying your name after everything... It's fun... You'll like it... All the cool golems are doing it..._

_IBH: Peer pressure! (actually, we're not peers, I'm WAY better than you, but the same thing kind of applies). Okay... Tim._

_PH: It's fun, right?_

_IBH: Yeah Tim._

_PH: So, how's life?_

_IBH: Lifey Tim. How are things working out with Rhode Tim?_

_PH: She's a real monster, I wish I was as lucky as you to end up with someone... nice._

_IBH: I am awefly lucky Tim._

_PH: And if my plan works, I'll be luck too!_

_IBH: What was that Tim?_

_PH: Nothing... I was just commenting on how lucky you are..._

_IBH: I think I'll stop saying Tim after everything Tim. It gets really annoying Tim._

_PH: Okay._

_IBH: How is Rhode mean Tim?_

_PH: She's just a meannie! Anyway, I thought you were going to stop that. You were right, it is getting annoying._

_IBH: I'm trying, but I can't Tim!_

_PH: What's with always talking to yourself?_

_IBH: TTYL... Tim_

_PH: Hehehe... :D (Oh no! Sennen Ko Ha smile!)_

THE END (Sorry, I just love ending with "Taming of the Shrew" type moments!) OH, BTWs, the Giant Friendly Mushroom was from Avatar (the TV series, not the movie) and the I'm not calling anyone short after someone said 'jerk' was a reference to FullMetal Alchemist. Did you get it? HUH? Wow... (take that as you will...)

Ahh... 1048 words down, 98,952 words to go... Aren't you excited? I sure am! I mean, think of all the possibilities of things I could write with in the next 98,000 words! This could be fun. Anyway... I guess I could write some stuff about how my day is going... That's always an option I suppose. And, yes, believe it or not, I have done other things than write to day.

I woke up at 12:00 on the dot. Well, 12 noon. I shoved my bandana on my head and meandered down the stairs to grab some food. Jerry whipped up a grilled cheese sandwich and a large mug of coffee for me.

I drank the coffee and felt ready for a full day of annoying people... Specifically Allen. Normally, I would bother Yu, but today was Allen's birthday, so he needed some annoyance.

"Hey, Buddy!" I exclaimed, latching my arm bothersomely around Allen's neck.

"Hi..." Allen groggily replied.

"So how's breakfast?" I just love using that tone of voice that says I know I'm being an annoying jerk, but I'm bugging you anyway.

"Good. Anyway, don't you have something to do today? Yesterday you were super excited what you would get to do today."

"Yo, Moiashi-chan, this is what I gotta do today? Kapiche?"

"No. Especially not today!" Allen mumbled as if I was torturing him, which, by the way, I was.

"Why not?" I coyly replied.

"Because of what today is."

"And just what would that be?" I asked annoyingly.

"Because it's my...birthday." Then the entire population of the cafeteria (Kanda wasn't there) sang a round of 'He's a mighty fine dude.'

"Okay, I'll stop bugging you. Besides, I have some important business to attend to..." I added dramatically.

"Such as...?" Allen prompted.

"Writing 100,000 in that diary I got yesterday!"

"And why would you do that?"

"Just to be annoying." So now I'm writing 100,000 words in here just to be annoying. (Komui wanted us all to start keeping diaries for some reason, so now I'm being rebellious! Yay!) I can't wait to go to dinner and tell Allen about all the funny things I wrote in my diary and beg him to read it. When he agrees, I'm gonna say no. I mean seriously, it's my diary, why would I let someone read it?

Gosh, I feel like such a girl!

Anyway, what should I write next? Should I write about why cats are my favorite animal ever? Are you curious? I know I'm sure not, but then again I already know, I am me after all and have had the experiences and know the story. If you are interested, though, I will tell you.

Wait, who am I kidding? You're a diary, a journal, a book. You're dead... You can't be curious.

_Yes I am and yes I can. BTWs, I'm INSULTED and refuse to listen to any of you're stupid stories... After this one of course..._

Woah! That just appeared on the page! I'm not even kidding! How in the world did that work?

_It's all very technical and complicated. It's probably too much for you to wrap your silly little mind about it, just tell me that story!_

It did it again! I swear I'm not doing this! Hey, why do you want to know that story so badly?

Okay. Be that way. Don't answer. That's okay with me! ... But I wont tell you the story until I know why you wanna know!

...

...

Okay, so I lied. Here goes nothing!

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a young, handsome, funny, charming, clever, smart, awesome, lovable, genius, funny, athletic, annoying, fun, cool, funny, enjoyable, neat, cool, random, funny, big headed, amazing, fast, brilliant... Hey!

_Would you stop going on about yourself and write the darn story!_

First tell me why.

_Why would I do that?_

Because I'm curious and you want to know.

Aww, come on! I'll even quit describing how awesome I am and get to the story!

_No._

Okay, then. Where was I? Oh yeah! Brilliant, handsome, funny, cool, fashionable...

_Fine! But I'll tell you at the end of the story!_

Okay. So... Once upon a time in a land that was actually not far away from here, there lived a boy - Oh no! Not again! - named Lavi, Yes! Who shall here be called me. One day, he stupidly decided to rabbit hunting with his father, who hatted rabbits almost as much as he me.

"Boy!" Father called. My 8 year old self raced toward him to inquire why he had called me and woken me at such an obscene hour of the morning.

"Yes, Father?"

"Are you ready to go yet? Have you just awoken?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You lazy slob! I told you last night that we were going to get up bright and early to go rabbit hunting!"

"Then why are we awake when it's dark and early?"

"Are you back-talking?"

"No, Father?"

"So now we're adding arguing to the charges?"

"I'm sorry, Sir."

"And now interrupting, huh! Well you disobedient little jerk!"

"I didn't call you short,"

"Hey! That's great! Derk the Jerk!" Yes, Kitty, my name was Derk. Unfortunately, I don't know how to spell it because it is spelled so many different ways and the expert on this subject is being of no use at all.

So, I was forced to be in charge of holding down the poor rabbits while my father slaughtered them. Later, I was forced to skin the few he caught and given a mighty bad spankin. My rear end is still sore - no lie.

Eventually, I decided this: the enemy of my enemy is, in fact, my buddy. So, I love rabbits and tried to protect them on this trip. They helped my escape my father and brought me to Panda, my grandfather. They helped me have a better life, so remain forever grateful and try to leave carrots out for them all over the forest. That's why I disappear a lot. Every so often, I see one of my old friends and thank them. This is why I love rabbits so much.

_So what does this have to do with your love of cats?_

Nothing! I hate cats! What would make you think I like cats?

_Ugh! You bimbo! I'm off!_

Okay, I really must admit that I did write the diary's parts... I was getting a little bored. After all, 100,000 words is a lot to write. I thought I'd make this more entertaining for me and figured that introducing the diary as a character would intrigue the reader (Or lack thereof, seeing as this is a diary) and make this more interesting for me to write.

So, I'm plugging along, slowly, mind you. So far I've written 2,186 words... Anyway, It's time for lunch... So, I think I'll take a break, but I'll be back soon! Lunch time!

_Lavi,_

_You are crazy, and not just loony, you're a crazy bad author. And, as you say, or write, BTWs, you do have readers. I'm reading this out loud to some of your friends while you are out lunch and feeding carrots to rabbits (at least I assume that was true and that is what you are doing now)._

_I'll be back. I suppose you could call that a threat._

_Che!_

Okay, I'm back and it's time for a little experiment... I'm sorry in advance... I really am...

My lunch with Allen went great. He totally took the bait. I told him about the Tim and Lero story. Tim overheard -that little eavesdropper!- and didn't appreciate that Lero was not only able to trick him but that he, meaning Tim, would be so mean. The crazy little flyee dude follows the love thine enemy thing. I think he's part of a cult... Honestly, Tim scares me, Sometimes, I even have nightmares that one day, Tim will affectionately bite my head... Only it wont be affectionately and he'll eat me and I'll die slowly and with great pain. Ow... I hope that dream doesn't come true. That would be bad. There would be nobody to call Kanda Yuu. Come to think of it, I mostly have those dreams after I have called Kanda Yuu and he does mean things to me with Mugen. If Yuu wasn't so fun to annoy, I would hate the creep. But then again, I like to be annoying...

Okay, okay. I LOVE to be annoying! It is the most fun ever! The only not so fun part is when Yuu turns around drawing Mugen faster than the speed of light (and yes, it is scientifically proven that Yuu can draw his sword at speeds that are 4.78929002039 times the speed of light. That's pretty fast, especially when you're the one about to be mincemeat!) which is REALLY SCARY! It's like the Sennen Hakushaku just walked in... Okay, time for another poem commemorating my hatred of the Sennen Haku-Shaku (That's the way that Knitting Something Different likes to say it... Well when all of the syllables are Americanized).

Ode to a Creeper (part 2)

Your smile is gross.

Really, really gross, trust me.

I wish you would stop.

But you are a creep.

Don't deny it. You really are

And I would sure know.

I sit and study,

I study Noahs and you,

Oh great creep. Eww... Gross

You really are quite gross.

How long has it been since you

Last washed your hands, Hmm?

Or, even better,

Since you last washed that smile

Off of that gross face?

It has been too long.

Of that I am sure, uh-huh.

You really are gross and creepy

Very creepy. Very, very creepy

They should lock you up

Insane asylum or jail,

Either would be fine.

Please leave us alone.

I sure hope you will comply.

And please don't smile.

So, whose next? So far, I've told you my true feelings about Tim and Yu, so why don't we go with Tim's master, Allen. He thinks I like him. Wow. The truth is, I only like to annoy him. Sure, I call him Moiashi-Chan, but that means nothing, I'm not even sure that I spelled that right. But hey, I sure seem like I like him, don't I? I'd say that I do a pretty fair job. Anyway, that idiot is a PIG! If he could, he'd eat all day! And when he says that he is sooooo hungry he could eat a horse, he really means that he could eat an entire farms worth of animals, including the horse. I don't even know why I pretend to like that jerk. The idiot bugs me... I don't know. I realize that I am the one annoying him, but the creeper gets under my skin. He's worse then the Sennen Hakushaku. That's pretty sad...

There's also my boss, of sorts, Komui. This should be fun. I have a lot against Komui that I haven't told anyone. Just think, you get to be the first to know! Cool. Aren't you excited? Komui is a creep. He loves his little sister, Lenalee, too much. It's almost creepy. Whenever he needs to be woken up someone tells him that Lenalee is getting married. "Lenalee! Lenalee!" He cries. "My Lenalee! How could you do something like this to me? Why would you get married without asking me first? I would never allow it! Lenalee!" He's a creeper! And he's a coward! He sends us out on missions, but never has he gone on one! Seriously, he should be below us! He has no innocence! The jerk thinks he can boss us around and we can do his bidding when we have the innocence. But other than that, he's a pretty nice guy.

Okay, Since it's still his birthday, I guess I should go bug Allen some more.

- a little bit later -

Okay, no note from Kanda telling me that he read this... Interesting... Now, let's go see if my experiment worked.

- later still -

"Hey, Allen!" I said. I figured that since I didn't find Allen a few minutes ago, he may have heard Yu reading my diary. (Ugh! I can't believe I have a diary! That is such a girl thing. Seriously, I'm a guy! At least Komui could let me keep a journal! But, "No, Lavi, it's a diary!" blah blah blah... GRR!)

"Get away from me you jerk!" Allen barked. No, Allen is not a dog.

"What's wrong with you, Moiashi-chan?" I asked, curious if he had actually heard my diary or if he was mad just to be mad at me or if I had done something wrong. Relationships are so confusing and I'm not even a girl (but Komui is turning me into one)!

"Nothing," he said, smiling and returning to his normal happy self. "I just wanted to pretend to be angry to see if it would annoy you. Honestly, I need revenge eventually." That's when I knew that Allen was up to something... But it would be a while before any thing actually happened.

"So, how's your birthday?"

"Well, some cake would have been nice." Allen said.

Jerry heard Allen's request and decided to make him a white cake frosted with his favorite dangos. Did I spell that right? I have some spelling problems. It's kind of weird. I'm such an amazing author that you think I'd be okay at spelling... Okay, so I'm not that good of an author, but I'd like to be... Maybe once we defeat the Sennen Hakushau, Noahs, and demons, I could become an author... The greatest author of all time and space! MUAHAHAHA! Wait - I still don't cackle... But I know someone who does, only she doesn't admit it... She's annoying. I really don't like her (but she thinks I do).

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes. While Jerry baked Allen's cake, we continued our conversation. "Well cake is always good." I winked at Jerry to thank him.

Allen, who now seemed pretty hungry, looked at me and laughed in agreement."So, how has your day been?"

"Great! I wrote more in my diary, but I still haven't passed 5,000 words."

"Wow! You have been writing all day and you're not very far at all!"

"How long do you think it will take me to finish it?"

"Better yet, how many pages will it take?"

"Well, I've already passed 15 pages. Too bad my diary only has 500 pages. I think I might be able to use all of them before I will have finished writing 100,000 words."

"That is quite a goal."

"It's a very daunting task."

"Wait - did you say your diary has 500 pages?"

"Well that's what the wrapping said."

"Wow! Mine only has 150!"

"Komui must have suspeted I'd do something like this!" we laughed. "I just hope Komui doesn't read it."

"Why not? Well, sure it's a diary, but... well, never mind, personal question. Sorry."

"Oh, no problem. You see, Yuu-"

"What did you just call me?" Kanda asked from behind me with Mugen pressed up against my neck. I could tell that I was going to have another scary Tim dream.

"I called you Yuu. That is your name after all, isn't it?"

"Che!" Poor Mugen was squished further into my neck and drew blood. Mugen never meant to hurt anyone but he was so sharp...

"Okay, _Kanda_, I'm sorry." I said annoyingly.

"Che! You better be! Anyway, why were you talking about me?"

"No reason. Actually, come to think of it, we weren't talking about you. I don't recall either of us saying something about you, do you, Allen?"

"Nope."

"Well then. Hey! Nice dress!" I said. Yuu had just gotten a new coat and it was trying it out for the first time.

"Che!" Yu exclaimed as he walked to the front of the room leaving us alone.

"Wow." Allen said, impressed by how well, not to mention quickly, I got Kanda to leave us alone.

"So, Yu was reading my diary and left a note in it that he had been reading it to everyone. So, I conducted an experiment to see if this was true. I wrote some really mean, not to mention, untrue, things about everyone to see it Kanda really had been reading my diary out loud to everyone."

"So, did you write anything about me?"

"Maybe... Hey, but you don't know, right?"

"Yeah."

"So Yu hasen't been reading my diary?"

"No-"

Yu returned to a nearby and unoccupied table in the center of the room. He placed himself there specifically so that he could hear every conversation and witness everything that was happening. In other words, Yu wanted to be in control of everything going on in the cafeteria at that point in , this meant he heard the last bit of our conversation and had slowly made his was over towards me to press his sword against my neck and scold me for calling him Yuu. "Che!" I think that is his favorite word. He uses every time I see him. It si probably because I like to annoy him, which I'm sure you already know.

"Do you think we were talking about you?" I asked, trying to get him to release me. "All I did was ask if Allen, who I would refer to in second person, and therefore call you, had read my diary. It is pretty entertaining stuff." I lied, but hey, it was a pretty clever lie. I didn't even miss a beat.

"Uh-huh. Just don't call me that." Yuu started to walk back towards his table.

"Hey! Do you know where I could by a dress like that?" I asked. Kanda turned and gave me a funny look as if he thought that I might be the one to wear it. "I thought Lenalee might like one for that almost-birthday celebration Komui is throwing for her tomorrow."

Yu thought about it. I guess he hadn't bought a present for her yet. What a terrible boyfriend he made. Lenalee could do so much better. Like me... but I'm into someone else right now.

OMGsh! I am turning into a girl! Did you see what I just wrote? Well did you? That was totally something a girl would say! KOMUI! (Grrr...)

Anyway, as it turned out, Yu hadn't been reading my diary out loud to everyone. That was good, but then there is one problem: Who wrote those notes in my diary and managed to sound a lot like Yu? I don;t know. Something fishy is going on around here.

Just then, Jerry came over with a big, delicious looking cake topped with 16 candles. We sang 'Happy Birthday,' as Allen blushed and cursed us, particularly me. Hey, what are best friends for?

"I hate to break up the party," Komui said as he entered the room. Jerry had just started to cut the cake which wouldn't last much longer if it was left inf front of Allen. Komui continued, "But I ave something to announce. I hope you woun't mind, but the Pope wishes to read your journals to find out about what is really going on inside the Dark Order and if it is a good thing to continue. Since we are the closest headquarters, except for Central, which is, of course, located in the Vatican City, we will be the first one to have our diaries read. As a matter of fact, this will be next week, so take time to write about the Dark Order and why it is a good program to continue. Also, we have some mew missions so if Kanda and Allen would come along with me please..."

"Um... May I finish my cake first, please?"

"No, your cake will still be here when we get back and besides, this is urgent."

So, they left and I followed suit, but I went to my room. And here I am. I'm gonna take a nap now. *Yawn*

_**December 26th**_

That was a longer nap than I expected...It's actually tomorrow now... :)

I think I better clear somethings up:

1. Tim is the cutest thing ever and I'm really not afraid of him. I actually wish that my golem was ascute as him.

2. Allen is my best friend and I really do like him and think he is cool despite what I wrote here earlier, which was just an experiment to see if Yuu really was reading my diary out loud to everyone.

3. What I said about Yuu is basically true. If I wasn't so cool and didn't like to annoy people, then I would probably not like him. He's a meanie.

4. I love Komui - as a friend, don't get scared people! - sure, he's my boss, of sorts, but he's really cool. He treats us all like we're his family. I think he is the best supervisor and if I weren't so selfish and wanted to keep him here, then I would recommend that he replace that ugly blond Hitler dude.

Okay, so now that I got that over with, I guess it's time for another story... YAY!

Are you bored yet? Wow... So far I'm only like 5,500 words in. Well, I suppose I could do something else other then write stories and write about my day. Komui said he wanted us to describe life here so that the Pope could understand what life here is like.

Okay.

My day usually begins with waking up. Then again, doesn't everybody's? So I wake up bright and early (sometimes it's not so early like when I woke up at noon the other day) and meditate in my room for a bit to clear my head. Then I wander down the stairs and pay a visit to Jerry, our amazing chef, who makes me some sort of delicious food (like pancakes or macaroni and cheese) and a large mug of coffee. I usually eat lunch with Allen who is, as previously mentioned, my best friend ever. Once I have had my daily dose of caffeine, I am ready for a full day of annoying people. Trust me, that is hard work. I start out by paying a visit to my old buddy Yu. He hates when I come over to annoy him. I usually end up saying hello to Mugen, his trusty sword. There was one day where Lenalee had banned Yuu from being mean to anyone, so he was really not himself. He went really crazy (I thought about calling a mental a mental hospital, but then I thought about it... "Hi, we have a rogue exorcist who needs your services." If the operator had been fine with that and would have wanted to come get Yu, there would have been even more trouble because the Dark Order headquarters in Europe is located on a cliff with practically no way up. Allen was talented enough to get up here, but I don't think that people from a mental hospital would be able to get up, much less down with a fighting Yu. Plus, we don;t want people to know about us or where we are).

Anyway, after bugging the cantankerous Yu, I usually pay a visit to the third floor of the headquarters (AKA the gym). I train there for a while; work on my fighting skills, improve my mile time, try and look more macho than I really am... stuff like that. Sometimes Komui calls me and sends me on missions. They can be quite fun but they are usually challenging. It also feels good, now if only the Noahs would go away, we could get straight to the source - the Sennen Hakushaku. That would be great.

Then, I usually study or write or do something scholarly. My most recent interest is what is behind the doors in the science department. It is not a good idea to do around opening the doors though. One day, I opened up what I call door number 12. Behind it, there was a gigantic, human shaped robot with a beret. On his left side, the words Kormuin 3.0 were carefully written (presumably by someone from the calligraphy department. Yes, we do have a calligraphy department. It is in a small closet on the very top floor, where almost nobody goes. It is small so only a few people know about it. I was invited to join, but I thought that I could be of more service elsewhere... and it disappeared a few weeks back). Since I set it free, I thought it would do my bidding, but it had it's own free will. It went to the cafeteria and ate some lunch, and tried to eat a few of the finders, then it destroyed all of the tables. Jerry wasn't happy with me. Then it went outside and started eating off chunks of the building. (Maybe that's what happened to the calligraphy department... Anyway, Komui managed to get it under control, but he was not happy with me. That's why I am banished from the science department.

I also have been working on my writting.. wait, hang on a sec, I have to go stop my dog from drinking out of the toilet... Okay, anyway, I have been working on my writing. I really like writing. Some of my more recent stories have been about a monkey, named Lemu, and his friend Bob the Weasel. Yuu keeps telling me that Bobolini, a character he created (that name doesn't sound like something he'd create, but you never know with him) is so much cooler than "the weasel."

Pi is also cool. I hate math, but love pie... haha... hahahah... okay, so maybe that wasn't funny... that's okay... don't laugh...

After my study break, I usually have some free time before lunch. I feed my pet rabbits: Linduh, Kino, and Rant (all males, of course. I am technically not supposed to have a pet besides a golem, but I have three rabbits, a dog, 2 Canadian Swallow fish (who are small fish who look like one of their great grandparents was a cat fish and the other was an angelfish. They like to swallow things whole, especially gold fish or small pincherless crabs), a koala [who lives in my closet], and a Chernky. A Chernky is a small bird with an elephant trunk and large elephant ears and an elephant like tail. It is covered in feathers except for the tail which is all skin except the very end which is covered in 2 - 3 inch long hairs. They love to fly, but mine got hurt so she can't. I tried to rehabilitate her, but I think she has lost her ability to fly forever). Sometimes I go Hang out with Allen. Sometimes we draw things together. We drew a spotted Lime Leaper that looked really real. We accidentally scare Crorwly with it at lunch one day. Oops.

Then it is lunch time. I like food, but Allen LOVES food. He eats a ton. No wonder he's practically Jerry's favorite; Jerry LOVES cooking (and is good at it) and Allen LOVES to eat (especially Jerry's cooking). Okay...

I return to studying after lunch. This time, instead of studying everyday things, I study exorcist stuff, like Akuma and how they evolve and stuff. I've been her for years but there is always more to learn.

Then, I train and meditate again. After that I take another break (actually a longer break because by this time, I've basically done nothing but study and train all day, and while there are a bunch of neat things to learn and I love to, I really just wanna do something else.) Sometimes I go bug Yuu for a while or play a prank on Lenalee. I even say hi to Komui sometimes. Other times, I try to befriend Crorwly, but he's really shy and quiet, so that doesn't always work out well. Sometimes, if my room is really messy (with me and my 8 pets, it gets messy really easily) I try to clean my room, but often I'm just lazy.

Soon, it;s dinner time and I visit with my friends and eat some of Jerry's delicious dinners. Allen likes Dangos, Yuu likes Soba, but I prefer Mongolian BBQ or chicken cow mein. Did I mention that Jerry can cook just about everything? Seriously, I haven't asked for something that Jerry couldn't make. He can make anything from good asparagus (which is amazing because asparagus it DISGUSTING!) to an amazing Zuchini dish. Did I spell zuchini right? Oh well. Who cares. Not me.

Then I shower (or take a bath. I prefer taking a bath, but when you have a whole bunch of people sharing only a few full bathrooms, baths can't be taken that often.) and brush my teeth. I feed my pets again and go to sleep.

Care to guess what happens next?

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

I wake up! Chances are you got that right. Oh,on weekends, I sleep in later, do less work, and have more fun. Doesn't almost everyone? I love weekends. I get to bug Yuu more too! He hates weekends.

Okay... Hey! I thought it was story time about 1000 words or so ago.

So... should I make up a story?

Or I could write about my two favorite believed-to-be-mythical-but-real animals besides golems and chernkeys... Okay, that first.

1. Rabigators. Rabigators are half rabbit, half monkey, and one quarter elephant creatures. Yes, I know that adds up to 1.25 but how else would I explain their hind QUARTERS... haha... haha... okay, so I guess that wasn't funny either. WEll, it sure made me laugh. You guys are a tough crowd to please. Now bwck to Rabigators. They live on clouds above the South Pacific. They are kind creatures and like to help people. However, this is not so when they feel threatened. I really like them.

2. Califphanters. No, they do not live in California, they live in Alaska, which I've heard is a region of Canada. {the author of this fan fiction would like to clear up this myth and inform people that Alaska is in fact a part of the United States. The author heard a rumor that people in the UK and in other parts of Europe thought that Alaska is part of Canada... and it isn't... okay, end of geography lesson... :)} They eat lemony apple grass which grows only in the northern interior of Alaska. They are spiders that have the head of a small cat and 6 long, furry their toe nails click as they walk across many surfaces. They give many people the creeps (including Yuu). You can guess why an anooying person like me would like them...

So, Lenalee's birthday party is today. It is actually starting in a few minutes. I need to go, but I'll tell you about it when I return! :D (oh no! Guess who's smile that is!)

Guess what Yuu bought for Lenalee... He bought her another version of his coat (only it was blue and silver). Lenalee hated it! It was so funny! Allen and I burst out laughing when she first opened it. When Lenalee say what it was, her horrified face made us laugh even harder! That was the funniest accidental prank I have ever pulled! I think Lenalee is going to break up with Yuu because they have been going out for a year, but he still doesn't understand her. Something tells me that he is not a good listener.

This whole diary thing is really weird for me. I'm a guy, so it's strange. But, I'm a teenager so I have plenty of feelings. But I'm a guy so I don't want to discuss my feelings. But I have a diary, so I want to discuss my feelings, but then there's that guy thing again. I could go round and round... For a while... Maybe even days... That would take up some space... But I would get bored, and what is the point of being anoying if it doesn't entertain me?

I just learned that Allen likes annoying people. That explains why he likes me. {:) I like the hair on that smiley...

So Allen never got to finish his cake. He did have a lot of Lenalee's cake which made him feel better. I guess he still wanted revenge, so he threw a piece of cake in my face. Direct hit. Nice. It was really cool. I've never had cake in my face before. It is a good way to eat cake... I like it. Maybe I'll ask him to do that again next time we have cake. Since Lenalee's real birthday is comming up soon, that shouldn't be too long!

You know what I just realized? Someone forgot about Christmas! I guess we were all so caught up in our missions and studying and training that we didn't even realize that it was Christmas... How sad. Maybe Komui will let us celebrate when Allen and Kanda get back from their mission.

After Lenalee's surprise almost birthday party, Moiashi-chan and Yu left for Omø, Denmark to sort out some Akuma troubles there. I heard that they were having a lot of trouble there with turning people in to Akuma. I guess the community is very old and a lot of the people who live there are very close. It all started when a girl named Allison disappeared. Alison's best friend, Emma, was so distraught that she hid in her room everyday, crying, for months. She hardly ate because she was so worried about her dear friend. She soon started looking for her around her friend Sukki's house, because that was where she had gone missing. Then the police started knocking at her door trying to blame her and her four other really good friends for Allison's disappearance. This made Emma search harder.

One day, while walking in the woods, taking a break from the searching she had been doing for months, but still crying, she came across a black plastic bag. The moon reflected off the bag giving the scene an ominous look that she hadn't noticed before. Emma knew what was in the bag she just new it. It had to be Allison. All this time, Emma had still thought that Alison was alive, but she now knew otherwise. She cried harder than ever. Huge alligator tears streamed down her now red face. She knelt over her poor friend when she heard a mysterious noise in front of her.

Emma looked up. Standing in front of her, she saw a tall, fat man in a yellow over coat. His hat fit perfectly in between his large ears. His head was shaped like the hand of someone properly holding a bowling ball. The man frightened her as he creepily smiled at her. She began to back away when the man spoke in a soft, gentile, almost comforting voice, "Don't be afraid." He said, luring her back. "I wont hurt you, it seems as though you have had enough of that lately." The man readjusted his glasses on his face, still smiling broadly.

Returning to the body of her dear friend, Emma sat and pondered the strange character that had just appeared in front of her. She felt that smiling was an odd thing to do at such a time, but is seemed as if he couldn't help but smile. "W-who a-a-are you?" She asked. The cold of the night had begun to seep into her bones, chilling her to the man had just appeared in front of her a minute ago, he had just appeared out of no where. There was an odd popping sound, and there he was and yet Emma was only minimally scared.

"I m a friend. I can help you. If you would like, I have these bones and I could bring your friend back to life." The man said comfortingly, his words banishing the cold from Emma's body.

Emma thought for a moment. She thought about all she had done for the past few months - cry, refusing to eat more than a few nibbles of a cracker or something each day pining for her friend to return. This man, who had just appeared in front of her offered her more hope and peace than anyone had in the past few months. She nodded. Slowly, at first, but as she became more sure of her choice she nodded faster and faster.

"I will need just a little help from you, though." He added. Emma agreed quickly, willing to do anything to save her best friend from the fate that had already befallen her.

What the strange man did next, Emma didn't see. Either that or it was so horrific that her mind blocked it out refusing to replay the scene even for Emma.

"What have you done to me?" Alison called. "I'm... I'm..."

"Allison!" Emma interrupted, excited that what the man had promised had come true. Here was Allison, alive and standing before her. Still, something didn't seem quite right. Something deep inside her knew that this was wrong. Why wouldn't she listen to it?

"I'm and Akuma!" Allison said with despair. "How could you do this to me." Allison looked shocked. She stumbled backwards, appalled at what she had just done.

Just then, the man started singing. "Happy birthday to you." he said cheerfully, his big, creepy smile still spread widely across his face. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear-"

"Allison!" Emma mourned. She couldn't believe that she had just turned her best friend in the entire world into an akuma. How could she betray Allison like that?

"Happy birthday to you!" the man happily finished, impressed by another fine Akuma he had just made. There was one more step, though.

Emma tore through the forest, running faster than she had ever ran before. "Kill her, Allison!" the man chuckled. Allison tried to refuse but she couldn't stop. How could Emma do something like this to her?

Allison chased Emma through the forest. As she caught up with her, the man reappeared. "I'm the Millennium Earl, girlie." He began menacingly while Allison dug her hands into Emma's chest. "You should have known better..." The Earl smiled as Alison finished the job and used Emma's limp body as a disguise to hide in as she slowly killed off the community.

The first to go was Sukki, who had told her to leave her house and go home the night she had disappeared. Sure, the family was sad, but Drake, Sukki's sister's new husband was the saddest of all. Mel, Sukki's sister found this especially strange because, besides her sister's death, life was good for them. They just put the down payment on a new house that both of them felt was perfect, Drake and Mel had graduated with honors from a very prestigious university in Copenhagen and now were moving back to Omø, preferring the little town to a big city. Drake just landed a job that was the first step to his dream of being an astronaut and Melanie had gotten a job as a the head chef in a nearby restaurant. Mel and Drake were very much and love and very happy being around each other. Also, Drake and Mel had just discovered that they were going to have a baby. So, while Mel was sad, she found it very odd that Drake was as deeply depressed as he was.

The thing was, Drake loved Sukki, and not just as a sister. When they first met, she accidentally charmed him with her unique ways and lovely, confident personality. He loved the way that she tucked her hair behind her ear when she thought. He loved the way her eyes shone when she looked at him. He had loved her and she had loved him. But he loved Mel as well, and they had just been married when Drake met Sukki and he could spoil that new relatiionship, so he ignored her, and she never knew why. He knew how much he hurt her feelings, but he had to continue, or else he would have continued to fall hopelessly head over heels in love with her.

Drake went to her grave and cried. He stayed there for days, drowning in his despair. Then the Earl showed up and promised him hope. He promised that she could be revived. He felt hope for the first time in weeks. He cried in thanks to the Earl. Then Sukki was turned into an Akuma, sending Drake into a deeper dispair. Finally, Sukki killed Drake on the Sennen Hakushau's command.

Drake killed Mel. Mel's mother turned her and her unborn baby into an akuma. Soon, almost the entire town was either an Akuma or was killed by an Akuma.

Wow. That story made me feel like I'm a girl. Did you see how I described some people's emotions in there? Well that's the way I heard the legend. We weren't sure if it was a true story, but Komui sent Jeb and Lina, two finders, with his latest invention, Kormuin 4.6, to investigate. They discovered that while there was no Innocence there, in a town just a little further north, there was a ghost who was controlled by Innocence. As soon as Komui got word of this, he told Allen and Kanda, our A-team, to go retrieve the Innocence. With Omø just 10 miles away, they had to hurry. It was, however, too late to leave then, so they left after Lenalee's party at 7:00 this morning.

So, that's their mission. I get to be back up so I am leaving in a few hours. I was taking time to learn about the Akuma of Omø, that is how I know so much. Then I decided to take a break. I had nobody fun to annoy so I decided to write some stuff in here before continuing to study. I think Komui would kill me if he found out about this. Anyway, my goal is approaching quickly (word wise, anyway). Only two days and so far I have written almost 10,000 words. That's okay by me. So I should be able to get this done in 10 days. Cool. I think I'll give myself three weeks, mostly because of this mission, which will take a while.

Why do I always have to play backup? Before Moishi-chan arrived, Yuu and I would always go out on missions together. Yuu hated it! I loved it. Days to annoy Yuu while fighting Akuma with his sword and my hammer. Personally, I think a hammer is much cooler than an ordinary sword, but Yuu disagrees. my size changing hammer is way more effective than his sword as well.

Well, I think I better finish learning about my mission. Lenalee, River, and I are all leaving soon...

Three days later...

_**December 29**_

So, the mission went well. By the time we arrived, Allen and Yuu had already located the Innocence. They hid it, but wouldn't be able to take it out of the city until all of the Akuma were killed. Moishi-chan had started that while Yuu worked on further protecting the had been doing a good job of protecting the innocence, but it didn't need as much protection as Allen needed help. There were at least 50 Akuma, some merely level ones, but the older Akuma, like Allison and Sukki, had evolved into level two or three Akumas. Allen, still being pretty new to the Dark Order, wouldn't be able to handle all of those Akuma on his own. It was very smart of Komui to send backup.

Basically, I went into Akuma rearend kicking mode. Yep. It was really rather cool. Komui had sent me with a potion that I was supposed to try out on the Akuma so I used that on one who snuck up behind me. It was a level two Akuma, you know those who can think and have discovered their own special powers. She looked like she might have been Allison, so I felt a little bad using a potion with unknown effects on her. Anyway, I told my hammer to grow and jumped on the newly gigantic hammer. I flew up above the Akuma, but apparently, Allison's power was flying, so this was going to be a difficult mission. She flew up straight at me, hoping to knock me off balance. I dodged her attack and up capped the potion.

"What's that?" Allison chuckled. "Don't you know that potions don't work on a level two Akuma?"

"I might as well try it anyway." I replied as she laughed. This, I decided, was the prefect opportunity. As she continued to laugh, I threw the potion on her.

"Okay, so I lied." Allison said as she shrunk becoming an ordinary flea. "Potions work on me. Good job."

Then I needed to think. Fleas could get away and quickly. As Allison started to fall, i spotted a small box. I raced gravity as I grabbed the box and stood with it under her, waiting for my victory. Allison landed in the box and I quickly folded it up. If she could still talk, I imagine she'd call me a jerk. Then I put that box inside a bigger box and folded that one up. I didn't have the time or patience to mail it to myself, but I told my hammer to shrink and smashed the boxes with my hammer.

I think that was the coolest of the fights. Oh well. It was a fun, but hectic, and scary, and possibly deadly, and, well, I think you get the point. It was fun. It was a lot of things.

Anyway, when I got back to the headquarters with Allen and Yu and everybody, Komui immediately approached me.

"How did it work? What did it do?" Komui asked excitedly. This man is very serious about his science experiments. If he read this part, he'd freak out and say that they're not experiments! Anyway, Komui excitedly continued on, "Did it work on an Akuma? Was it helpful? Would you use it again? Should I make some for everyone? Why aren't you answering?" Maybe it's because you haven't given me any time to even try to answer your questions! "Was it not satisfactory? Did you hate it? Are you ever going to answer me? Do I have to call your grandfather and get him to make you answer these questions? Why are you being such a jerk and not answering? Anyway, how did t work? Was it anything like my lab tests? Did you love it? Did you need any other supplies? Was it awesome?" Then Komui slowed down as he realized something. "Oh. Maybe that's why you're not answering my questions. Tehe... I'm not giving you anytime to answer... =)" Komui said sheepishly.

"Okay, let's see if I can answer all of your questions in order." I began, trying to think of the first question. "The potion worked well, quite well, actually. I poured the potion on a level two Akuma and it turned him into a harmless little flea. I guess that takes care of the first three. It was very helpful. Yes, I would use it again. You should make a gun for this stuff for everyone, but only send half of the people out with the guns and the other half out with boxes and then always send me out so I can smash them with my hammer. I wasn't answering because I didn;t have any time. That was why I was being such a jerk. It was more than satisfactory, I didn't hate it. Yes I am going to answer. I don't need Gramps to make me answer these questions. It worked well. I loved it. I needed a box and a hammer. It was awesome. I think that just about answers all of your questions."

"Nope."

"No? Which one did I forget?"

"Is is anything like my lab tests?"

"Johnny!" I called, a little exasperated (Komui has that effect on everyone).

"Yes?" Johnny called nas he raced towards me.

"I need to-... Wow. I love your spiral glasses, the kind of make me dizzy. Awesome."

"Thanks, Lavi. Anyway, what can I do for you?"

"Oh, yes. I need to see the files on Komui's potion."

"And which one would you like to see?"

"The one he gave me."

"And which one was that?"

I wasn't sure, so I settled with a confused look and an, "Um..." Then I followed that with a sheepish smile.

"Okay, let me pull some files."

Johnny left so I talked to Komui until he returned.

"So," Komui began, "Did you really like my potion?"

"I loved it." Komui lit up, so I finished my story. "I was fighting my first akuma of the day. It was Allison, the first one to change and a level two Akuma. I told my..." Well, you know the story. I told Komui the entire thing and Johnny still wasn't back yet.I was getting annoyed and impatient.

"Wow. I guess it worked well." Komui said, impressed with himself. "Hey! If we do that, guess how we could train!"

"How?" I asked. I was expecting something really lame.

"We could play baseball!" Komui really can be cool.

Just then, River showed up.

"Hey!" Komui said.

"I heard you were looking for some files on potions. Can I be of service?"

"Well," I began. "We really need Johnny to come back with our files."

Then River decided to explain his take over. "He's having some trouble narrowing down which files to pull and is getting flustered, so I figured I'd take over."

"Okay," Komui replied. Then he decided to help with narrowing down the potions. Did it ever occur to him that he could have pulled the files himself and made this a whole lot easier on everyone? Well, I guess he has to make everyone work really hard (even if we don't get paid). "I need the mystery potion that I created last week. It was green and should be in drawer 3 of cabinet 6 in the back of room 18."

"Well that narrows it down." River said. At first I thought he was being sarcastic. He thanked Komui and left. About 35.167 seconds later, he returned with the files. He opened the files and said, "Here are the test results, the formula, the description. Anything you want to know about the potion is right here. Well, it doesn't have a name so, if you wanted to know it's name, you are out of luck." He handed me the file.

"Actually, River, I have been thinking of a name for is." Komui said, grabbing River's arm and adjusting his slightly twisted beret. They started to walk down the hall towards Komui's desk. "I think we should call it either SDATFP or Alphabetacarrotineoxyleginide."

"Well, they are both hard to pronounce. What does SDATFP stand for?"

"Super Duper Akuma To Flea Potion." Komui replied.

"Awesome." River said as I walked away.

Then I went to my room, where I am now. I read the files. I guess this stuff can burn holes through metal, is lighter than boron, is more slippery than talc and a banana peel combined, and can is more basic than lye. Ouch. That stuff wouldn't be fun to get on you. I could use it to lob of some of Yu's hair. He does need a hair cut. I think he'd kill me. That wouldn't be good. ;)

Okay... I am getting kind of bored. If I am getting bored that must mean that you are getting bored. Thank you, by the way, for sticking with me through over 10,000 words! (Yay!) I am over 1/10th of the way done with this thing! Only... 90 K... words left... I guess that is still alot. Well, there is plenty of opportunity to write lots of stuff! That is always, well almost always, a good thing. :)

Okay, Lunch time. TTYL!

_**December 30th**_

I meant to write later, but I was busy bugging Yu. Then he went in his room and wrote something. This morning I woke up and it was posted everywhere. It was an essay... Well, just read it.

_The Superior Being_ _By Kanda Yu_

_Humans believe that we are the superior beings. We think, we communicate, we learn. However, we generally have no proof that we are. We have not lived as any other animal, we have no tests to prove whether or not they have the capabilities of higher thought or communication as we communicate. There is no proof that we are superior, save our thumbs that allow us to do many things. There is, however, proof that exorcists are superior to ordinary human beings. And there is a heirarchy amongst the exorcists. Kanda, for example, is far superior to Lavi. Kanda is all around better than Lavi._

_One of the ways that Kanda is better than Lavi is that he is faster. While Lavi can draw his sword at 189 mph, Kanda can draw Mugen faster than the speed of sound. Also, according to a study done by Komui Inc., Kanda is a faster thinker than Lavi. This faster thinking gives Kanda the abilities to not only react faster, but fight faster, learn faster, and just be faster. There are man benefits to this speed._

_Effeciency allows Kanda to kill more Akuma then Lavi. Since this is the point of the exorcists, Kanda is better at his job. This allows Kanda to spend less time training and learning about the job and how to do it. With the extra time, Kanda can meditate and learn about other things such as math and science. Because Komui is a big science fan, this allows Kanda and Komui to connect and to have a close relationship. This makes Kanda look good, where as Lavi, who is still stuck learning about exorcism and training, appears less knowlegable, slow, useless, and dumb like he really is._

_Finally, Kanda is more respectful than Lavi. Lavi, who is from someplace that is unknown to all of us, is very disrespectful. It does not seem to occur to him that any respectful person calls someone who is not close to someone else should be refered to by their last name or even their last name followed by their first name. Lavi seems to believe that is respectful to call someone by their first name even when they are not friends, let alone close friends. For example, Lavi calls Kanda by his first name, Yu, all the time. Then Kanda kicks his efficiency and speed into action and draws Mugen, which any respectful person would do to teach someone a lesson._

_In conclusion, there are many ways that Kanda is better than Lavi. The author could have gone on for months and months about why Kanda is so mich better than Lavi, but he doesn't want to waste anymore thime n such a jerk. That is also why this essay is not as good as it could be and is only a rough draft. Anyway, Kanda is WAY better than Lavi in every way. Lavi is a jerk, Kanda is awesome. Che._

All I could do when I read that was laugh. So did everyone else who read that. A few minutes after I discovered it. Komui summoned Yu. (I can't imagine why!) He was really mean to me when he returned. I guess he thought it was my fault that he got in trouble. Little did he realize that her wrote the bogus essay and I had no part in it.

Yu decided to go meditate. A few minutes later, I followed. I peaked my head into the yellow room "Che!" Yu exclaimed. I've never understood how he does .

Okay, I'm bored. So that means it's story time.

Any ideas? Any? You could suggest some if you'd like. Wait... there's the diary thing which really foils my plan.

okay... Um never mind. So I haven;t been doing a lot of reading lately. I'm a pretty big reading fan... Well, in benges anyway. Some days I like reading, other days I feel like I have been reading too much. Lately, I have been writing a lot (obviously) and I haven't had much time to read. How terribly sad. I think I'm gonna go cry now. Someone thinks I'm a Nell hater. Little does this annoying person who is sitting next to me realize that I don't know who this character "Nell" is, so I can't hate her, or even like her. Yep. This person is strange. I think her name is Morgann. She likes to be called 'Mo.' I guess her sister likes to call her that.

"Nell Hater!"

Oh. She's leaving... but she say she'll see me later. I hope so. Man, she is FINE. When I first saw her, I yelled "STRIKE!" Everyone looked over at me. I smiled and told everyone that I was talking about bowling. What a weird name. I don't even know what bowling is. I guess it has something to do with a strike though because everyone believed me. That was good. So...

Does it feel like today has gone on forever to you? It sure feels like it to me. I could use a nap.

Never mind... It's lunchtime! Yay! Who gets to go bug Yu and Allen! I do! Wahoo!

Later!

Later that same day...

MEEP! That girl taught me that word. Meep. Yep. It is a fun word... She is a fun girl. She came here to inform us that the Millennium Earl is right. I think she is a good person, but she keeps talking about how the gods don't want anymore people on the Earth.

Okay, randomness break!

My ideal high school schedule! (YAY for nerds!)

1. Partial Differential Equations (they're making me re-take math classes because I finished them all. I even went to tha college and took through math 400. Oh yeah. Who's smart... ME!)

2. AP French (so I can correct the teacher because I speak all the languages there are, ever were, and ever will be. C'est cool, n'est pas?)

3. AP Physics with calc (Random thing... Physics, physics, physics... physics..physics... PHYSICS)

4. Band (totally a trumpet player, all the glory not as much work as some of the other instruments. Yep.)

5. AP World history (again so I can correct the teacher. Being a book man I am a master of history!)

6. Algebra 2 (again so I can correct the teacher. Plus I took this as like a third grader, so no worries.)

7. AP English lit (What can I say, I like to read)

Okay folks... there you have it... The ultimate nerdy schedule. Well, I don't think I'll end up with many of those classes as an exorcist... That's okay. So... um. I think writing 100,00 words migh have been a REALLY bad idea because I have no idea about what to write next and I'm getting bored... and when I get bored that's not good. i know this girl and when her cousin gets ored, bad things happen. Last summer, this girl's cousin read the girl's diary and then told everyone that the girl had said some terrible thing about her when that was (and is) not true. She still hates that girl for no reason. Man is she lam, not to mention mean. Oh, too late, i just mentioned it. Okay...

La de da...

Do you think I should just type like one word for the next thousand words or so?

Nah... that would get REALLY boring and REALLY lame. Yep it certainly would.

How about a debate with myself?

Sounds great.

What shall we debate?

What kind of chocolate is the best.

Dark.

Milk, duh!

Nuh-uh!

Geez, you're so childish.

And darn proud of it.

Okay, I'll think about this over lunch...

I'll be back soon, I promise.

**December 31**

Happy new year's eve!

This is soon. Right? Right?

Okay, so I lied. But I did decide that dark chocolate is the best. How could I ever think other wise. The problem is I told Jerry and he keeps making me chocolate. Sure, I really appreciate the gesture, but he keeps making the chocolate like really, really dark. It's kind of gross.

Hey! I had some new song ideas.

1. You know the Harry Potter Puppet Pals Mysterious Ticking Noise? I came up with a new version based on our lives. It's going to be hard to write because of all the characters interrupting each other at certain times, so I'll write the character's names. I really wanted to be Ron, but there was no way my name would fit. Oh well, here's the list.

Snape: Millennium Earl ("Earl, Earl, Millennium Earl")

Dumbledore: Komui! (obviously, the line would be: "Komui!")

Ron: Jasdevi (so one is good and the other is bad. Well! Anyway, line:"Jas, Jas, Jasdevi!")

Hermione: Kanda ("Kanda. Kanda. Bakanda, Bakanda, Bakanda." Yes, Bakanda says this. I like making him have the girly parts... 8D)

Harry Potter: Allen Walker ("Allen Walker, Allen Walker, uh! Allen Walker, Allen Walker, yeah! Allen Walker, Allen Walker, uh! Allen Walker, Allen Walker, that's me! Allen! [Earl!] Allen! [Earl!]... I'm Allen Walker. Allen, Allen Walker!")

Voldemort: Lenalee ("Lenalee, Lenalee, oh Lena, Lena, Lena, Lenalee!")

2. Komui would kill me for having his precious Lenalee be Voldemort, so I have another version. Komui also wouldn't like to be Dumbledore because Dumbledore is REALLY old, but I'd tell Komui that they're both really wise and smart and are great teachers and in a position of leadership so Dumbledore was the only character in Harry Potter (Yes I've read it!) that came close to Komui's greatness.

Snape: Rhode Kamelot ("Rhode, Rhode. Rhode Kamelot.")

Dumbledore: Komui! ("Komui!")

Ron: Noise Marie ("Noise! Noise! Noise Marie!")

Hermione: Kanda ("Kanda! Kanda! Bakanda! Bakanda! Bakanda!")

Harry Potter: Allen Walker ("Allen Walker! Allen Walker! eh! Allen Walker, Allen Walker! Yeah!")

3. I also made a version that has to do with Doctor 's pretty talented if I do say so myself (and I do).

Snape: Daleks ("Daleks! Daleks! Daleks rule Earth" or "Daleks! Dalkes! Daleks are evil!")

Dumbledore: Captain Jack (he would).

Ron: Rose Tyler ("Rose! Rose! Rose Tyler!")

Hermione: Donna

Harry Potter: The Doctor (not the best fit song-wise, but it had to be!)

Voldemort: the Cybermen

(I wish I could have included Martha... and Harriet Jones, former Prime Minister)

(What is a Prime Minister anyway? Those silly English! Kidding, no offense meant. Then again, no one is reading my diary. It's a diary. And not even Kanda with will of steel could stand it.!)

4. Okay, another song idea. Have you ever played the game Portal? At the end, the computery-thing sings a song and I made a version of it... Yep. Whose really bored. You guessed it! Kanda! Well, what does he do when I'm not around to annoy him? Well, he's to lame to do anything, so I'm gonna guess nothing. Lame. Okay, song.

This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: the Earl is fat. It's hard to overstate his big waist line. Exorcist business. Truthfully it is such a drag. But we do it well because We love the whole human race! And we sure will cry if we make a mistake Except, of course, for Kanda, who is a great big fake. But the akuma die so that human souls can fly And we find all of the Innocence.

The Noah attack us. They our butts, oh yes, they do. You can't imagine our great disappointment. That is okay, though. We've gotten them a time or two. The Millenium Earl. He helps out the Noah. He likes to fight with his sword. Allen's sword is backwards from the Earl's big fat sword. How creepy is that? And what does it imply? But the Akuma die so that human souls can fly And we find all of the Innocence.

The Earl is quite large. He surely is a tub of lard. What happened to all the cake? I bet the Earl ate it fast. But there's no sense crying over every lost cake Except for the Earl who gained a lot of some weight. Now the Earl is fat, oh wait, he already was! But we'll find all of the Innocence. And believe me he is really fat. He's making akuma become alive. We're here in China and the pandas are coming at us at a scary pace. The Exorcists are surely really cool. Really cool. You're jealous!

Author's note: Timcampy8me (formerly Knitting4248) helped me with the songs. Especially the last. I must say, she was against Kanda having Hermione's part. I thought it was great.

Okay... So now that you know about the craziness inside my mind... Well, actually, you don't know the craziness in my mind. It's pretty crazy; too crazy for the average human, like yourself, to comprehend. No, I'm not calling you dumb. You could be brilliant for all I know. All I'm saying is that I'm smarter. Okay, this is just not coming out right, but as a Bookman, I know all of history. Every person that has ever lived, every star in the sky, every war, every petty argument, where you live, where you sleep, where everyone lives, where everyone has lived, every animal, where every animal has lived, all of their arguments. Yep. Everything. Every nook and cranny of history, I know the all. So, the random things floating around my head make my head pretty crazy. You have no idea. So now that I have my foot in my mouth...

Is this going really slowly for you too? I guess constantly asking only makes it so... So!

A/N: HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE! MY SISTER JUST CAPITLIZED SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL! THIS IS A BIG DAY FOR HER! I'M SO PROUD! SHE'D HATE ME IF (well, when, really) SHE READS THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE! I'LL DELETE IT EVENTUALLY! OKAY, NOW BACK TO THE STORY. WHY AM I TYPING IN CAPITALS...?

So, someone just wrote two author's notes in my diary. Seriously, this is my diary, so who ever that is, please stop it.

Hey... I know... Let's find the pretend author's diary and read it!

Nah, that'd be rude. Well, here's a story I wrote:

How The Northern Lights Came to be (lame title, just stick with me)

"Papa, why are there northern lights?" A callow child asked his father.

"Well," replied the venerable father, "it all began one night when Oceanus, the titan of the sea, approached Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea, under a white flag of truce seeking only to beguile his naïve successor. Poseidon crept nervously out of his coral mansion searching for a nonexistant trap set by his sly forebarer. Once Poseidon could see Oceanus, he straightened up and feigned confidence. 'And what, may I ask, brings you here, Oceanus?' Poseidon asked.

"Oceanus was quick to respond, anxious to witness the outcome of his wit. 'I'm sure you have heard that Olympus is being threatened by Kronos. He has rallied a flock of monsters of all kinds, even your sons, the cyclopses, have joined the cause. More recently there has been worse news, more shocking news.' Oceanus paused for a moment, partially to think of what he would say but mostly for dramatic reasons. Oceanus also waited for a response from Poseidon. When no response rolled of Poseidon's callow tongue, Oceanus continued his speech. 'Athena, favorite of Zeus, barer of the aegis, wisest of all, has also joined their fight.'

"'This cannot be!' Poseidon roared. 'I've known the wise Athene since she popped out of Zeus' forehead! She would never betray Olympus! Zeus, her father, my brother, could not live knowing his daughter, his favorite daughter had betrayed not only him, but all of us, and the rest of the world, for our wicked and evil father! What cause could thay have that is more pressing and right than ours? There is no way that what you say can be so!' Poseidon was filled with disbelief, shock, and grief. However, somewhere deep in the sinew of Poseidon's heart, he had the slightest incling that what Oceanus had said had been true. Had poseidon any reason to doubt his only erudite and experienced adviser? Sure, Oceanus hadn't taken to kindly to ebing shoved off his throne, but since the deed was done, he had accepted his fate and actuall helped Poseidon through a tough time or two. Although tricks were a constant threat for Poseidon.

"Oceanus, sly fool that he was, took only a moment or two to formulate a plan for his next argument. 'Poseidon, this is Athena we're talking about. You said yourself that she is as wise as would be expected, being the goddess of wisdom and all. If Pallas Athene chose to join the titans, it could only be because she believes the wisest choice is the side of Kronos. If she believes this then surely you Olympians wont stand a chance.'

"Poseidon, who had been one of the gods that cut Kronos up into thousands of pieces and throw him into a mountain, was quick to respond. 'How could Kronos be leading this battle? How could he possibly have reformed himself into a useful state of being?'

"'Kronos traveled deep into the creations of Gaia, Mother Earh, and found a dreaded moster torchered for centuries under the tyranny of you gods.'

"'Typhon!' Poseidon exclaimed. 'He must have awoken Typhon! We'll never have any hope of beating Kronos!'

"'Now you see, my child! This is why Pallas Athene has come to the dark side!'

"'Are you sure it wasn't just for the cookies?'

"'Absolutely. Anyway, Athena maybe able to convince you foolish gods that Kronos is so great there is no chance of you winning a battle, let alone a war, against him and his massive army. If this is the case, you will give in and another age of the Titans will begin!'

"Poseidon was about to thank Oceanus for sharing his knowledge when he realized that if Kronos won, Oceanus would again rule the sea, and if Oceanus wanted that, why would he share Athena's plans with him?

"Oceanus' face flickered with confustion for a moment. This brief time of uncertainty came and went unbeknownst to Poseidon. 'I wouldn't want an unfair fight,' Oceanus said, as if he could read Poseidon's mind. 'Anyway, I must be off. My gaurd just informed me that one of my mermaids has escaped... again. Hope to see you soon!'

"'Thanks, Oceanus! Bonne chance!'

"Oceanus turned away breathing a sigh of relief and giving an egotistical look that could only begin to relay the enjoyment he got from play tricks on Poseidon.

Poseidon swam beck to the heart of his palace to ponder for a while. During this time, he hotly debated with himself whether or not what Oceanus said was true or was just another of oceanus' low down dirty tricks. Poseidon became very cross with himself before deciding to trust Oceanus (again) and beginning to formulate a plan to solve the problem.

"A week of planning went by quickly for Poseidon. Soon, the time came for him to enact his plan and decide if what Oceanus had said was really true and convince Athena that the cookies in the Dark side were not nearly as delicious as the brownies in the light side. Disguised as an old crone with hoary white hair, Poseidon swam north to where Athena was vacationing disguised as a snowy owl. Poseidon knew that he couldn't trick the goddess of wisdom, but still he approached her. 'Pallas Athene? Could that be you?' Poseidon asked, making his voice match that of theold woman who had come by not to long ago.

"Athene transformed herself back into her normal form: a beautiful woman in a flowing purple dress. 'Who are you, and how did you recognize me?' Athena asked knowing full well that it was Poseidon.

"'I am an untimportant traveler who wanders these harsh lands. As for my recognition, I have spent many years watching these owls all day, day after day. It was quite plain to me that this owl, an owl so perfect, could not possibly be an owl. As all venerable people know, your symbol and sacred animal is the owl, so who else would it be?'

"'You are wise, my child,' Athene said, still playing along. Poseidon believed that Athena thought he was an old woman and inwardly sighed in relief while trying to keep a straight face as Athena continued. 'Please, enjoy a cup of hot chocolate with me.'

"'I couldn't refuse a request from a goddess. Thank you very much.' While Athene prepared the coco, Poseidon grabbed a small parcel from his jacket pocket. He poured the contents, an enchanted chain, into his hand and quickly trapped Athena, who, believe it or not, was expecting this, and still decided to be trapped by Poseidon. Poseidon swam with Athena to his underwater palace. Fish of all kinds and colors gave Poseidon a weird look as he drug Pallas Athene down to the palace dungeon where Athena was locked up like a cold hearted, not to mention unwanted, murderer.

"It didn't take long for the word of the kidnapping of his favorite daughter to reach Zeus. Poseidon knew his days were numbered and apprehensively meandered about his castle. In the middle of the night, Zeus sent a lightning blot hurtling towards Poseidon's northern home. Seeing as Poseidon had never faced this problem, he wasn't sure what to do. So, in a final attempt to save himself, his kingdom and his precious palace, he sent a huge tidal wave up to meet the lightning bolt.

"The connection of the awesome powers of the two brothers created a flood of light in the northern sky. The light appeared in every color - blue, greens, reds, even purples dancing around in the sky. Sometime during the amazing display, Poseidon explained Oceanus' visit to Zeus. This still appears sometimes in the night sky in the north and south as a reminder to all f us how important family is and as a promise between the two brothers to never fight again."

The end! (not of my diary, don't worry. I'm only like 3/20 of the way there, so there will be a lot more of this for us to look forward too). 8D

Okay... how about another story!

This was it! Today was the day. I scrambled out of bed and put on the first clean shirt I found quickly followed by the first pair of clean jeans I found. I rushed up the stairs and I saw that Grandma was already awake.

"Good morning, Grandma," I cheerfully exclaimed as I flung myself down the hall. She too said good morning and announced that she would be making breakfast.

Soon I arrived in the rather large upstairs bathroom. I quickly ran the green brush through my hair as I located my white scrunchy. Just as I wrapped my dingy scrunchy around my hair, Grandma announced that my fried egg was done.

"Thanks," I moaned. I hate fried eggs. They have a weird texture. They're all rubbery and they feel like they would be better as the sole of my shoe than food. Worse still, they taste terrible. If something tastes like fingernails scratching in a chalkboard sounds, it is definitely fried eggs. The smell of fried eggs is also so unappealing I think I'd rather fry my own tongue than have to loom over them and subject my poor, innocent, helpless taste buds to a type of torture that is tantamount to nuclear warfare in my mouth.

How could I get out of this? I would have to get out into the living room and then to the kitchen and face my nemesis sooner or later. "Maybe I could wait until the bus comes," I mused. Then i thought about it. The clock's lonely minute hand had just passed 6:50 and my bus wouldn't come until a little after 7:20. That meant the poor minute hand (who was definitely getting dizzy from the constant spinning) would have to rotate another 11,160 degrees before my bus would arrive. I couldn't stall for half an hour, but I sure could try.

So, I stopped excitedly rushing about the house and instead lazily instructed my legs to move about in this direction and in that direction. My once happy mood had deteriorated to the tired and lazy disposition that is common among teenagers. Then, after a few more minutes there came Grandma's cry from the kitchen, "Layna, come get your fried egg!"

"I will!" I replied as I searched through the basket of laundry I had left upstairs. I had hoped to find something more aesthetically pleasing than my purple flowered jeans and a red T-shirt. After a few more minutes I found a normal pair of jeans and a blue shirt with some beautiful lines squiggled all across the front.

I quickly changed into said clothes as Grandma called again. "Layna! Come eat your fried egg!"

I packed my backpack slowly as I wondered if Grandma had remembered that I despise fried eggs. Surely she did. Ever since she discovered my vegetarianism, she had been on me about eating more protein. (She was doing it for my own good, but it was a bit bothersome after a while.) Grandma had been wanting me to eat eggs for sometimes. I tried to tell her that I'd rather eat my TI 30 calculator but I just couldn't say it.

Grandma called again in a few more minutes. It was a little past 7 and I had nothing to do. My backpack was packed full of the things I would need that day along with a gaggle of spare papers I was too lazy to clean out of my bag. I also had my green flute and piccolo case set by my backpack with both inside. Sadly, there was nothing I needed to do.

Feeling a little defeated, I replied with my heart full of dread (and a tad bit of fear), "I'm coming." I meandered out of my haven, down the hal, and into the kitchen. Sitting before me was the odious fried egg.

I noticed there was no odor wafting over from the egg. After a double-take, I realized that it was not a fried egg at all. What I had been fearing for the past twenty minutes was merely a slice of pound cake with marshmallow cream in a small circle topped by a half of an apricot.

Grandma just stood there laughing. After a while, I joined her. It was the best fried egg I had ever had and the best April Fool's day prank Grambly could have played on me.

Author's note: one of these days I will remember to save before closing my computer...

Do you think it is strange that someone keeps writing author's notes in my diary?

Have you ever read someone else's diary? It's a total invasion of your property, mind, feelings... well, it's an invasion of who you really are and your opinions, sometimes opinions that are not true or change later, but it makes you feel violated. Well, not me. I'd probably laugh. There's nothing bad in here about anyone. Well, except for my experiment, but I don't count that. I would be sad though, if someone read my diary and discovered what I am making people for Christmas.

Okay, do you think I should write another story?

I don't know. I would say that this was enough writing for today because well, it's a lot, but I woke up at three and it isn't even breakfast yet. I have already studied for today's tests, trained for an hour and a half, colored on everyone's face's (except Lenalee's. I snuck into her room to paint her face, but then I thought about it and figured Komui would kill me if he knew I had been in her room, even just to draw on her face. Since I'm already in the middle of a tangent and a set of parentheses, I might as well note that I think Jerry will like the fruit I drew all over his face and that I wrote, "Best chef ever!" on his right arm. Okay, anyother quick notes? Not right now!), knitted 6 hat, scarf, and mitten sets. Oh, I also planned out my Chrismas gift list (you know the list of things I'm gonna give people).

Allen - gloves Tim - a Tim cozy Yu (just to annoy him) - a hug Yu - a big poster of me (I think I'll get him a set of darts too...) Jerry - a set of hand made and hand decorated chopsticks Panda - a stuffed animal panda Lenalee - a picure of Komui in a hand made frame Lenalee (her real gift) - a pair of hand made ballet shoes Komui - a coffee cup cozy Komuin (for komui's sake) - hand knitted beret Deesha - a bell polishing kit Tidol - a glasses case (hand knitted, of course)

Well, that's as far as I got with my list this morning.

Hey! People are starting to wake up (it's 5:30)!

What was that?

Oh... I think someone just looked in the mirror and saw that I drew on their face! That's hilarious! You can't tell but I'm laughing! Hang on a sec...

Sorry, I was too busy laughing to write! That's funny! I think I'll enjoy thi while I can because I think Yu is gonna kill me (along with everyone else in the HQ)... 8D (Allen calls that a magical smiley face. Weird.)

Isn't Yu a terrible name?

Random.

Yep. That's me! I think I'm gonna go hide somewhere where I can hear people's surprised screams, but they'll never be able to find me (I know! I'll hide in Komui's desk!)

Later!

Okay. Thankfully no one found me until I stupidly went to the cafeteria for breakfast. I guess I'm just a stupid guy. Yu didn't like that I wrote Yu all over him (he wanted to cut me to ribbons... he was going to too. Thankfully Komui had perfect timing), Komui was perfectly fine with me not drawing on him, Jerry liked what I drew on him and decided to keep it until he showered after dinner. Allen laughed at his (or so he said).

I think I'm going to translate that story about the fried egg into a few of the different languages I know. It'll take up some words.

Okay, this was a bad translation. Danish is one of my weaker languages.

Det var det! I dag var dagen. Jeg scrambled ud af sengen og sat på den første rene skjorte jeg fandt hurtigt efterfulgt af det første par rene jeans jeg har fundet. Jeg styrtede op ad trappen, og jeg så, at Bedstemor var allerede vågen.

"God morgen, Bedstemor," Jeg muntert udbrød, da jeg kastede mig ned i hallen. Også hun sagde god morgen og meddelte, at hun ville begå morgenmad.

Snart jeg ankom til temmelig store ovenpå badeværelse. Jeg løb hurtigt på den grønne pensel gennem mit hår, som jeg placeret mit hvide scrunchy. Ligesom jeg pakket mit nusset scrunchy omkring mit hår, Bedstemor meddelte, at min spejlæg skete.

"Tak," jeg stønnede. Jeg hader spejlæg. De har en underlig konsistens. De er alle gummiagtig, og de føle, at de ville være bedre som det eneste af mine sko end fødevarer. Hvad værre er, de smager forfærdeligt. Hvis noget smager som fingernegle kradsede i en tavlen lyde, er det absolut spejlæg. Lugten af spejlæg er også så utiltalende jeg tror, jeg vil hellere stege min egen tunge, end der er til væven over dem og underlagt min stakkels, uskyldige, hjælpeløse smagsløgene med en type af tortur, som er ensbetydende med atomkrig i min mund.

Hvordan kan jeg få ud af dette? Jeg ville have at komme ud i stuen og så ud i køkkenet og ansigt min nemesis før eller senere. "Måske kunne jeg vente, indtil bussen kommer," Jeg grublede. Så jeg tænkte om det. Uret ensomme minutviseren havde netop passeret 6:50, og min bus ville ikke komme før lidt efter 7:20. Det betød de fattige minutviseren (som var afgjort få svimmel fra den konstante spinding) ville have til at rotere en anden 11.160 grader før min bus ville ankomme. Jeg kunne ikke gå i stå i en halv time, men jeg sikker på kunne prøve.

Så jeg stoppede ophidset farende om huset og i stedet dovent instrueret mine ben til at bevæge sig i denne retning, og i den retning. Min gang godt humør var blevet forværret til de trætte og dovne disposition, som er fælles blandt teenagere. Så efter et par minutter mere kom der Grandma's råb fra køkkenet, "Layna, kom få din spejlæg!"

"Jeg vil!" Jeg svarede, som jeg søgte gennem kurven med vasketøj jeg havde forladt ovenpå. Jeg havde håbet at finde noget mere æstetisk tiltalende end min lilla blomstret jeans og en rød T-shirt. Efter et par minutter mere fandt jeg en normal par jeans og en blå skjorte med nogle flotte linier squiggled over hele fronten.

Jeg skiftede hurtigt til nævnte tøj som bedstemor kaldte igen. "Layna! Kom spise din spejlæg!"

Jeg pakkede min rygsæk langsomt, da jeg spekulerede på, om Bedstemor havde husket at jeg foragter spejlæg. Sikkert hun gjorde. Lige siden hun opdagede min vegetarisme, havde hun været på mig om at spise mere protein. (Hun gjorde det for min egen gode, men det var lidt besværligt efter et stykke tid.) Bedstemor havde ønsket mig at spise æg til tider. Jeg prøvede at fortælle hende, at jeg hellere vil spise min TI 30 lommeregner, men jeg kunne bare ikke sige det.

Bedstemor kaldte igen om et par minutter mere. Det var lidt over 7 og jeg havde intet at gøre. Min rygsæk var pakket fuld af de ting jeg skulle denne dag sammen med en flok af reservedele papirer jeg var for doven til at rense ud af min taske. Jeg havde også min grønne fløjte og piccolofløjte sag, som min rygsæk med både indeni. Desværre var der ikke noget jeg havde brug for at gøre.

Feeling lidt nederlag, sagde jeg med mit hjerte fuld af angst (og en tad bit af frygt), "Jeg kommer." Jeg bugter sig ud af min haven, ned HAL, og ind i køkkenet. Mødet før mig, var den modbydelige spejlæg.

Jeg lagde mærke til var der ingen lugt wafting over fra ægget. Efter en dobbelt-tage, indså jeg, at det ikke var et spejlæg på alle. Hvad jeg havde været bange for de sidste tyve minutter var blot en skive pund kage med skumfidus fløde i en lille cirkel kronet af en halvdelen af en abrikos.

Bedstemor stod bare der og ler. Efter et stykke tid, kom jeg hende. Det var den bedste spejlæg, jeg nogensinde havde haft, og de bedste Aprilsnarsdag prank Grambly kunne have spillet på mig.

Okay... That was fun. How about French next?

Peu de temps je suis arrivé à la salle de bains à l'étage plutôt grande. J'ai vite couru le pinceau vert dans mes cheveux que je trouve mon chouchou blanc. Juste comme je l'ai enveloppé ma chouchou sale autour de mes cheveux, grand-mère a annoncé que mon oeuf sur le plat a été fait.

«Merci, Je gémissais. Je déteste les œufs sur le plat. Ils ont une texture bizarre. Ils sont tous caoutchouteux et ils se sentent comme ils le feraient mieux que la semelle de mes chaussures que la nourriture. Pire encore, elles ont un goût terrible. Si les goûts quelque chose comme ongles grattant un tableau des sons, il est définitivement oeufs frits. L'odeur des œufs sur le plat est tellement désagréable que je crois que je préfère alevins ma propre langue que d'avoir à pèsent sur eux et sous réserve de mon pauvre, innocent, sans défense papilles à un type de torture qui équivaut à une guerre nucléaire dans ma bouche.

Comment pourrais-je sortir de cette situation? Je dois sortir dans le salon, puis à la cuisine et le visage de mon ennemi, tôt ou tard. "Peut-être que je pourrais attendre que l'autobus arrive,» pensai-je. Puis j'ai pensé à ce sujet. La seule horloge aiguille des minutes venait de passer 6h50 et mon bus ne viendrait pas jusqu'à un peu après 07h20. Cela signifiait la pauvre main minute (qui a été définitivement vertige de la constante de la filature) aurait pour tourner un autre 11.160 degrés avant mon bus arrivait. Je ne pouvais pas décrochage pendant une demi-heure, mais je vous pourriez essayer.

Alors, j'ai arrêté de courir avec animation autour de la maison et au lieu paresseusement demandé à mes jambes pour se déplacer dans cette direction et dans ce sens. Mon humeur fois heureux s'était détériorée à la disposition fatigué et paresseux qui est fréquent chez les adolescents. Puis, après quelques minutes de plus il est venu pleurer grand-mère de la cuisine », Layna, venir chercher vos oeufs au plat!"

"Je veux!" Je lui ai répondu que je recherche à travers le panier de linge que j'avais laissé à l'étage. J'avais espéré trouver quelque chose de plus esthétique que mes jeans violet fleuri et un T-shirt rouge. Après quelques minutes de plus j'ai trouvé une paire de jeans normal et une chemise bleue avec quelques belles lignes squiggled tous les travers de l'avant.

J'ai rapidement changé en dit grand-mère que les vêtements de nouveau appelé. "Layna! Venez manger votre oeuf au plat!

J'ai emballé mon sac à dos lentement que je me demandais si grand-mère s'était souvenu que je méprise œufs sur le plat. Sûrement qu'elle a fait. Depuis qu'elle a découvert mon végétarisme, elle avait été sur moi de manger plus de protéines. (Elle le faisait pour mon bien, mais c'était un peu gênant après un certain temps.) Grand-mère m'avait vouloir manger des œufs pour parfois. J'ai essayé de lui dire que je préfère manger mon Ti 30 calculatrice mais je ne pouvais pas le dire.

Grand-mère a appelé de nouveau en quelques minutes de plus. Il était un peu passé 7 et je n'avais rien à faire. Mon sac à dos a été remplie de choses que j'aurais besoin de ce jour-là avec une bande de papier de rechange j'étais trop paresseux pour nettoyer de mon sac. J'ai aussi eu ma flûte piccolo vert et cas par mon sac à dos avec à l'intérieur. Malheureusement, il n'y avait rien que je devais faire.

Vous sentez un peu défait, lui répondis-je avec mon cœur plein d'angoisse (et un peu peu de la peur), je viens. " Je serpentait de mon refuge, à l'hal, et dans la cuisine. Assis devant moi a été l'œuf frit odieux.

J'ai remarqué qu'il n'y avait pas d'odeur qui flotte au cours de l'œuf. Après un double-prendre, j'ai réalisé que ce n'était pas un oeuf sur le plat à tous. Ce que j'avais été, craignant pour les vingt dernières minutes était simplement une tranche de gâteau quatre-quarts à la crème à la guimauve dans un petit cercle surmonté d'une moitié d'un abricot.

Grand-mère restait là en riant. Après un certain temps, j'ai rejoint elle. Il a été le meilleur oeuf sur le plat que j'avais déjà eu le meilleur et le jour du poisson d'avril blague Grambly aurait pu jouer sur moi.

Spanish... nah... How about Greek? Okay!

Αυτό ήταν! Σήμερα ήταν η μέρα. Θα κωδικοποιημένα από το κρεβάτι και να θέσει από την πρώτη καθαρή φανέλα βρήκα γρήγορα ακολουθούμενο από το πρώτο ζευγάρι των «καθαρών» τζιν βρήκα. Έσπευσα τις σκάλες και είδα ότι η γιαγιά ήταν ήδη ξύπνιος.

"Καλημέρα, γιαγιά," εγώ χαρούμενα αναφώνησε, όπως εγώ ο ίδιος έριξε κάτω από την αίθουσα. Είναι πάρα πολύ είπε καλημέρα και ανακοίνωσε ότι θα κάνει πρωινό.

Σύντομα έφτασε στο μάλλον μεγάλο μπάνιο στον επάνω όροφο. Έτρεξα γρήγορα το πράσινο βούρτσα με τα μαλλιά μου καθώς βρίσκεται λευκό scrunchy μου. Ακριβώς όπως έχω τυλιγμένο σκοτεινός scrunchy μου γύρω από τα μαλλιά μου, η γιαγιά ανακοίνωσε ότι τηγανητό αυγό μου έγινε.

"Ευχαριστώ," I moaned. Μισώ τηγανητά αυγά. Έχουν μια περίεργη υφή. Είναι όλοι ελαστικός και αισθάνονται σαν να ήταν καλύτερα ως το μοναδικό του παπουτσιού μου, πλην των τροφίμων. Ακόμη χειρότερα, που γεύονται τρομερό. Αν τα γούστα κάτι σαν νύχια ξύσιμο σε chalkboard ακούγεται, είναι σίγουρα τηγανητά αυγά. Η μυρωδιά του τηγανητά αυγά είναι επίσης τόσο unappealing νομίζω ότι θα προτιμούσα να τηγανίζουμε το δικό γλώσσα μου από ό, τι πρέπει να αργαλειό πάνω τους και με την επιφύλαξη φτωχή μου, αθώος, ανήμπορος γεύση σε ένα είδος βασανιστηρίων που ισοδυναμεί με πυρηνικό πόλεμο στο στόμα μου.

Πώς θα μπορούσα να βγω από αυτό; Θα πρέπει να βγούμε στο σαλόνι και στη συνέχεια με την κουζίνα και το πρόσωπό μου Νέμεση αργά ή γρήγορα. «Ίσως θα μπορούσα να περιμένω έως ότου το λεωφορείο έρχεται," I συλλογίστηκε. Τότε σκέφτηκα για αυτό. μοναχικό λεπτό χέρι του ρολογιού είχαν περάσει μόλις 6:50 και το λεωφορείο μου δεν θα έρθει μέχρι λίγο μετά το 7:20. Αυτό σήμαινε την κακή λεπτό χέρι (ο οποίος ήταν σίγουρα παίρνουν ζαλισμένοι από τη συνεχή νηματοποίηση), θα πρέπει να περιστρέφεται άλλο 11.160 βαθμούς πριν από το λεωφορείο μου θα φτάσει. Δεν θα μπορούσα να χάσει τη στήριξή της για μισή ώρα, αλλά εγώ σίγουρα θα προσπαθήσω.

Έτσι, θα σταματήσει αναστατωμένα βιασύνη για το σπίτι και αντί ανέθεσε νωχελικά στα πόδια μου, να κινείται προς αυτή την κατεύθυνση και προς αυτή την κατεύθυνση. μια φορά χαρούμενη διάθεση μου είχε επιδεινωθεί στους κουρασμένους και τεμπέλης διάθεση, που είναι διαδεδομένη μεταξύ των εφήβων. Στη συνέχεια, μετά από λίγα λεπτά ήρθε κραυγή της Γιαγιάς από την κουζίνα, "Layna, έρχονται να τηγανητό αυγό σου!"

"Θα το κάνω!" Απάντησα όπως Έψαξα μέσα από το καλάθι του πλυντηρίου είχα αφήσει πάνω. Ήλπιζα να βρει κάτι πιο καλαίσθητο από μωβ άνθη τζιν μου και ένα κόκκινο T-shirt. Μετά από λίγα λεπτά βρήκα ένα κανονικό ζευγάρι των τζιν και ένα μπλε πουκάμισο με μερικές όμορφες γραμμές squiggled όλοι πέρα από το μέτωπο.

I γρήγορα άλλαξε σε ρούχα, όπως είπε η γιαγιά που ονομάζεται και πάλι. "Layna! Ελάτε να φάτε τηγανητό αυγό σου!"

Θα συσκευασμένα σακίδιο μου αργά ως Αναρωτήθηκα αν η γιαγιά είχε υπενθυμιστεί ότι εγώ περιφρονώ τηγανητά αυγά. Σίγουρα το έκανε. Από τότε που ανακάλυψε τη χορτοφαγία μου, αυτή ήταν για μένα τρώει για περισσότερη πρωτεΐνη. (Ήταν το κάνουν για το καλό το δικό μου, αλλά ήταν λίγο ενοχλητικό μετά από λίγο.) Γιαγιά μου είχε θέλουν να φάνε τα αυγά για μερικές φορές. Προσπάθησα να της πω ότι είχα φάει μάλλον ΤΙ μου 30 αριθμομηχανή, αλλά εγώ απλά δεν μπορούσα να το πω.

Γιαγιά κάλεσε και πάλι σε λίγα λεπτά ακόμα. Ήταν λίγο παρελθόν 7 και δεν είχα τίποτα να κάνω. σακίδιο μου ήταν γεμάτο από τα πράγματα που θα πρέπει εκείνη την ημέρα μαζί με ένα κοπάδι χήνες των ανταλλακτικών χαρτιά ήμουν πολύ τεμπέλης για να καθαρίσουν έξω από την τσάντα μου. Είχα επίσης πράσινα φλάουτο μου και πίκολο περίπτωση που από την τσάντα μου και με τα δύο μέσα. Δυστυχώς, δεν υπήρχε τίποτα που χρειαζόμουν για να κάνω.

Αίσθημα λίγο νίκησε, απάντησα με την καρδιά μου γεμάτη τρόμου (και ένα tad λίγο φόβο), «έρχομαι». Θα meandered έξω από λιμάνι μου, κάτω από το HAL, και στην κουζίνα. Συνεδρίαση πριν από εμένα ήταν η απεχθείς τηγανητό αυγό.

Παρατήρησα δεν υπήρχε οσμή wafting πάνω από το αυγό. Μετά από ένα διπλό-λαμβάνουν, κατάλαβα ότι δεν ήταν ένα τηγανητό αυγό σε όλα. Αυτό που μου είχαν φοβούμενοι τα τελευταία είκοσι λεπτά ήταν απλώς ένα κομμάτι κέικ λιβρών με κρέμα marshmallow σε ένα μικρό κύκλο που ολοκληρώνεται από το ήμισυ του βερίκοκου.

Γιαγιά μόλις στάθηκε εκεί γελώντας. Μετά από λίγο, μπήκα της. Ήταν το καλύτερο τηγανητό αυγό είχα ποτέ και την ημέρα την καλύτερη Πρωταπριλιά φάρσα Grambly θα μπορούσε να παίξει για μένα.

German!

Das war es! Heute war der Tag. Ich kletterte aus dem Bett und legte auf den ersten sauberes Hemd fand ich schnell durch das erste Paar saubere Jeans folgte ich gefunden. Ich rannte die Treppe hinauf und ich sah, dass Grandma schon wach war.

"Guten Morgen, Großmutter," rief ich freudig, wie ich selbst warf den Saal. Auch sie sagt guten Morgen und kündigte an, dass sie machen würden Frühstück.

Bald kam ich in der recht großen Bad im Obergeschoss. Lief ich schnell den grünen Pinsel durch mein Haar, wie ich meine weißen Haargummi befindet. Gerade als ich meine schmutzigen Haargummi gewickelt um meine Haare, angekündigt, dass meine Oma Spiegelei gemacht wurde.

"Danke", stöhnte ich. Ich hasse Spiegeleier. Sie haben eine seltsame Textur. Sie sind alle gummiartig und sie glauben, wie sie besser wäre als das einzige von meinen Schuh als Lebensmittel. Schlimmer noch, sie schmecken schrecklich. Wenn etwas schmeckt Fingernägeln kratzen in einer Kreidetafel klingt, ist es definitiv Spiegeleier. Der Geruch von gebratenen Eiern ist auch so unsympathisch Ich glaube, ich würde lieber meine eigene Zunge braten zu haben als über sie Webstuhl und unterliegen meinem armen, unschuldigen, hilflosen Geschmacksnerven auf eine Art von Folter, ist gleichbedeutend mit der nuklearen Kriegführung in meinem Mund.

Wie könnte ich aus dieser Sache herauskommen? Ich müsste raus ins Wohnzimmer und dann in die Küche und das Gesicht meiner nemesis früher oder später. "Vielleicht könnte ich warten, bis der Bus kommt", dachte ich. Dann dachte ich darüber. Die Uhr ist einsam Minutenzeiger hatte gerade 6.50 vergangen, und mein Bus nicht kommen würde, bis kurz nach 7:20. Das bedeutete, dass die Armen Minutenzeiger (die definitiv immer war schwindelig von der ständigen Spinnen) hätte zu einem anderen 11.160 Grad drehen, bevor mein Bus ankommen würde. Ich konnte nicht für eine halbe Stunde stall, aber ich sicher versuchen könnte.

So blieb ich aufgeregt rauschen über das Haus und statt faul meine Beine angewiesen, etwa in diese Richtung und in diese Richtung bewegen. Meine gute Laune hatte einmal die müde und faul, dass gemeinsame Veranlagung ist bei Jugendlichen verschlechtert. Dann, nach ein paar Minuten kam Grandma's Schrei aus der Küche ", layna kommen Holen Sie sich Ihre Spiegelei!"

"Ich will!" Ich antwortete, als ich durch den Korb Wäsche hast Ich hatte oben links. Ich hatte gehofft, etwas zu finden mehr ästhetisch als mein lila geblümten Jeans und ein rotes T-Shirt. Nach ein paar Minuten fand ich ein normales Paar Jeans und ein blaues Hemd mit einigen schönen Linien verschnörkelten ganz vorne.

Ich wechselte schnell in die Kleider, wie Oma sagte wieder angerufen. "Layna! Komm iss dein Spiegelei!"

Ich packte meinen Rucksack, wie ich langsam, wenn Oma in Erinnerung hatte, dass ich gefragt, Spiegeleier verachten. Sicherlich tat sie auch. Seit sie mein Vegetarismus entdeckte, hatte sie auf mich zu essen mehr Eiweiß. (Sie tat es für mein eigenes Wohl, aber es war ein bisschen lästig nach einer Weile.) Oma hatte mir gefehlt, um Eier für den manchmal zu essen. Ich versuchte, ihr zu sagen, dass ich esse lieber mein Taschenrechner TI 30, aber ich konnte einfach nicht sagen.

Oma rief wieder in ein paar Minuten. Es war kurz nach 7 und ich hatte nichts zu tun. Mein Rucksack war voll gepackt von dem, was ich brauchen würde an diesem Tag zusammen mit einer Schar von Ersatz-Papieren, die ich war zu faul, um aus der Tasche zu reinigen. Ich hatte auch meine grüne Flöte und Piccolo von Fall zu meinen Rucksack mit innen gesetzt. Leider gab es nichts, was ich tun musste.

Feeling ein wenig geschlagen, antwortete ich mit meinem Herzen voller Angst (und ein bisschen etwas von Angst), "ich komme." Ich schlängelte sich aus meinem Haven, Festlegung der HAL, und in die Küche. Vor mir sitzen die verhasste Spiegelei war.

Ich bemerkte, es war kein Geruch mehr schwebend aus dem Ei. Nach einem Double-Take, merkte ich, dass es sich nicht um ein Spiegelei auf allen. Was hatte ich für die letzten zwanzig Minuten lang Angst war nur ein Stück Napfkuchen mit Marshmallow-Creme in einem kleinen Kreis, gekrönt von einem Halbjahr eine Aprikose.

Oma stand einfach nur da zu lachen. Nach einer Weile trat ich ihr. Es war die beste Spiegelei, die ich je hatte und den besten Aprilscherz Streich Grambly könnte mir gespielt haben.

Okay, last one... what language...

Well, I'm not very good at Icelandic... but...

Þetta var það! Í dag var dagurinn. Ég spæna út úr rúminu og setti á fyrsta hreina skyrtu Ég fann fljótt eftir fyrsta par af hreinum gallabuxum ég fann. Ég hljóp upp stigann og ég sá að amma var þegar vakna.

"Góðan dag, Amma," ég hrópaði cheerfully eins og ég henti mér niður í stofu. Hún sagði líka gott í morgun og tilkynnti að hún myndi vera að gera morgunmat.

Fljótlega kom ég í fremur stór uppi baðherbergi. Ég hljóp hratt grænu bursta í gegnum hárið mitt eins og ég er staðsett hvítt scrunchy minn. Bara eins og ég pakkað dingy scrunchy minn um hár mitt, amma tilkynnti eggi mínu var lokið.

"Takk" Ég moaned. Ég hata steikt egg. Þeir hafa skrýtin áferð. Þeir eru allir rubbery og þeim finnst eins og þeir væru betri sem eina af skónum mínum en matur. Verra bragð þeir nóg. Ef eitthvað bragðast eins og fingernails klóra í chalkboard hljóð, er það ákveðið steikt egg. Lyktin af steiktu egg er líka svo unappealing Ég held að ég vil frekar steikja eigin tungu minn en að loom yfir þeim og efnið lélegt minni, saklaus hjálparlaus smekk buds til a tegund af pyndingum sem er tantamount að kjarna hernaði í munni mínum.

Hvernig gæti ég fá út úr þessu? Ég yrði að komast inn í stofu og þá í eldhúsið og andlit Nemesis mín fyrr eða síðar. "Kannski ég gæti bíða þangað til strætó kemur," ég mused. Þá ég hugsaði um það. einmana klukkuna í mínútu vegar hafði bara liðið 6:50 og rúta minn myndi ekki koma fyrr en aðeins á eftir 7:20. Það þýddi fátækum mínútu vegar (sem var ákveðið að fá svima af stöðugum spuna) myndi verða að snúa annað 11.160 gráður áður en strætó minn myndi koma. Ég gat ekki tefja fyrir hálftíma, en ég viss um að reyna.

Svo stoppuðum ég æstur þjóta um húsið og í staðinn lazily kenna legs mína hreyfast í þessa átt og í þá átt. einu sinni hamingjusamur skapi mín hafði versnað að þreyttur og latur til ráðstöfunar, sem er algengt meðal unglinga. Þá, eftir nokkra mínútur þar kom gráta Amma úr eldhúsinu, "Layna, koma fá eggi þín!"

"Ég mun!" Ég svaraði eins og ég leitaði í gegnum karfa af þvottahús ég hafði skilið eftir uppi. Ég hafði vonast til að finna eitthvað meira aesthetically ánægjulegar en fjólublátt flowered mínum gallabuxur og rauðan bol. Eftir nokkrar mínútur Mér fannst eðlilegt par af gallabuxum og blárri skyrtu með nokkrum fallegum línum squiggled allur yfir að framan.

Ég var að breyta fljótt sagði fötin sem amma kallaði aftur. "Layna! Komdu borða steikt egg þitt!"

Ég pakkað bakpoka mínum hægt og rólega eins og ég furða ef Amma hafði í huga að ég fyrirlít steikt egg. Víst hún gerði. Allt frá því að hún komst Grænmetishyggja minn, hún hafði verið á mig um að borða meira prótein. (Hún var að gera það fyrir eigið góða mín, en það var dálítið bothersome eftir stutta stund.) Amma hafði verið ófullnægjandi mér að borða egg til stundum. Ég reyndi að segja henni að ég vil frekar borða minn TI 30 reiknivélina en ég bara gat ekki sagt það.

Amma kallaði aftur í nokkrar mínútur. Það var lítið síðustu 7 og ég hafði ekkert að gera. Bakpoki minn var pakkað fullt af því sem ég þyrfti að degi ásamt gaggle af vara-pappíra ég var of latur til að hreinsa út af töskuna mína. Ég hafði einnig grænt flautu minn og Piccolo ræða sett með bakpoka mínum með bæði inni. Því miður, there var ekkert sem ég þurfti að gera.

Feeling a lítill sigraðan, ég sagði við hjarta mitt fullt af Dread (og a tad hluti af ótta), "ég er að koma." Ég meandered úr höfn minn niður Hal, og inn í eldhús. Lota undan mér var odious eggi.

Ég tók eftir það var engin lykt wafting yfir úr eggi. Eftir tveggja manna-taka, áttaði ég að það væri ekki steikt egg á öllum. Það sem ég hafði verið af ótta við undanfarin tuttugu mínútur var bara sneið af köku pund með rjóma læknastokkrós í litlum hring í efsta sæti eftir hálft um apríkósu.

Amma stóð bara hlæjandi. Eftir smá stund, gekk ég henni. Það var besta eggi ég hafði alltaf haft og dag bestu apríl fool's prakkarastrik Grambly gæti hafa leikið á mig.

Okay, so that was a good few thousand words, but I'm not really as far as i would like... 19,567... Well, that's like1/5 of the way there! Yay! This kind of reminds me of those like 24 hour things they have on TV sometimes where they'll have people entertain you and you send them money (no, that is not a hint).

LALALALALALALA!

This is lame. I think it is time for another story. Nah.. essay, then story.

When was the last time someone spoke out against the government? It was probably relatively recently. Today, Americans unreservedly discuss politics. However, a few centuries ago, this very action that escapes contemplation in modern times was punishable by death. There were two options: submit to the administration's desires by reserving any criticism for trifle thoughts, or censure the authority and be it's next quarry. This very theme, conformity versus individuality, is prevalent not only in today's world but in Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451.

Governments receive their power through the people. Those who willingly accept the government's actions are essentially granting power and governing privileges to the authority. Thus, conformity is a source of power. By attempting to procure for people everlasting joy through the implementation of mindless entertainment, the government attempts to control people. The government of Fahrenheit 451 also strives to achieve this goal by removing anything that could potentially cause discontent among the population. This leaves people in a state of blissful ignorance in which people do not realize the extent of the government's control and brainwashing. Those who fall prey to this are like, "The faces of saints in a strange church ... [whose] enameled faces [mean] nothing," (Bradbury, 95) and are replicas of the people that they could be. Their state of not thinking gives the government control.

Governments will lose control of a society with books and education. The "Quality [and] texture of information," (84) contained within book will ensure the common people comprehend the events that are transpiring around them. The people's, "Strength [will be] incredible so long as [they] are firmly rooted in Earth," (83) and knowledge. Oppositely, when knowledge is detached and, "Are held, rootless, in midair ... [they perish] easily," (83). People are able to defend themselves when clinging to knowledge.

Afghani women are experiencing this issue. Islamic culture forbids disobeying one's mother. Because one requires the consent of one's mother to join the Taliban, the Taliban rebuts the construction of girl's schools. They believe if mothers knew the of the horrific deeds committed by them, the mothers may prevent sons from joining the Taliban.

Another example of this problem is Mildred who conforms to her government's fancies. Upon discovering an object dubbed detrimental to society, her first reaction is to, "Run towards the kitchen incinerator," (66). She is the product of her society: a brainless drone who doesn't realize that she is deeply depressed. Mildred discusses superficial topics with her friends and 'family' using a mere sliver of her brain and potential. She falls into the trap set by the administration of not thinking meanwhile permitting the government's power to increase exponentially.

Others, who have learned to think outside of society's believed protective bubble, have the potential to overthrow the government. Clarisse, for instance, does not enjoy brainlessly gawking at the television. Instead, Clarisse prefers to, "Smell things and look at things and sometimes, stay up all night, walking, and watch the sunrise," (7). Those who are similar to Clarisse would prefer to learn and synthesize information that stare at the television and are considered threats to the government.

The power to overthrow the government belongs to those who exhibit characteristics comparable to those belonging to Clarisse. They are able to comprehend events developing around them and think critically. The government apprehends that people may realize the astronomical amount of constitutionally granted rights being infringed upon. Should "books [and the knowledge contained therein] get [them] half out of the cave," (74).

In those who have retained individual characteristics, such as Montag, this is so. Despite limited access to literature, individuals are beginning to reagin the ability to think and are, "Wise already," (92). Those people who have chosen to read and learn are now considered out laws and live out in the countryside. They have already forsaken their authority and are waiting for the beginning of the war. Being a mindless drone is the only other option. Thus the theme conformity versus individuality is represented within Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451

I love story time! And it is story time! Yay!

-Man  
Flip  
Story, Manga, and Art by Hoshino Katsura  
Novelization by Lavi

Chapter 1:  
First Night: Opening

Charles and Moore approached a decrepit church. The mismatched bricks showed signs of ware and parts on the roof were missing. The walls of the church were scared by flames that were not witnessed by human eyes. The building was now home to bats who left at the first sign of moonlight.  
An ominous yellow crescent moon hung in the sky and a heavy fog did it's best to block out the moon's light. The sky was a dark gray giving the scene a very ominous feeling. Those who knew Charles knew that he was not at his best on nights like these. He trembled as he recounted tales he had heard to Moore. "Hey," Charles began, his voice trembling as he dared to talk for the first time since they had arrived. "Did you know that there have been a lot of people that disappeared in this church? This place is abandoned right now, so travelers with no money sleep here." Moore shook her head. She couldn't believe that a police officer would believe such stories. Those were stories that were invented by the parents of the neighborhood to scare their children from entering the spooky old church and getting lost, or worse: getting killed by falling bricks. Everyone knew that. Why was Charles so scared?  
Charles continued, "And when the wake up in the morning, the only thing left is their clothes." Charles shivered. He was about to enter the church, but he didn't want to die like the rest of them. Why wouldn't Moore listen to him? He was trying to warn her. Charles tried one last time. "It's cursed," He said, "because of an incident that took place here two years ago. Unusual events take place in the mist."  
Moore had heard enough. She was frightened already. She had heard the tales about the church the same as everyone else. Even though it was against logic, and quite childish, underneath everything, she was still afraid that something would come and get her.  
"Moore!" Charles pleaded. "A-are we really going in there?"  
She turned. Moore's long blonde hair got caught in her glasses. She got spooked but calmed herself down before saying, "The citizens have made a lot of complaints about this church. You know, about people, um, disappearing and such." Moore swallowed hard. Her fear was beginning to get the best of her, but she was a police woman; she wouldn't allow it.  
"I know." Charles said. He was trailing far behind Moore. He was ready to run back to the office, but he knew Moore wouldn't let him. "It's cursed, isn't it?"  
"Charles," She said, looking back with her hair tucked behind her ear. "Are those the words of a cop?" Moore thought about the reports for a moment. Surely they were false. She turned back around and confidently put her police helmet on. "It's probably just a rumor some idiot started. "Let's check it out and see for ourselves." Then, comforting herself almost as much as Charles, she said, "This church is not cursed!"  
Charles was still nervous. They had reached the door and Moore was just beginning to open it. "A-all right..." Charles said. He wanted to faint. He wanted to find some excuse - any excuse - not to explore the church. Charles found that he had none and crept inside the church. Charles was too afraid to think.  
If the church looked decrepit on the outside, the inside, well, the inside looked terrible. Stray bricks were missing from the walls and roof. The once beautiful hallways looked wrinkled and old. Windows were broken, boarded up, and now even the boards were broken. The floor was covered in fallen bricks and pieces of wood.  
"Wow." Moore said, breaking the silence. "It's pretty messed up. I wonder if any travelers really stay here."  
"Gyaaaaaaaa!" Charles screamed. "What is it?" Moore asked. She was worried about the life of her friend. Could the stories really have been true?  
"O-on my leg." Charles whispered.  
"Charles!" Moore said, frustrated that Charles had gotten so upset over nothing. "Charles, it's only a cat."  
"What?" Charles felt a flood of relief wash over him. His fear returned to him when bats came through the hallway. "What's that sound?" He asked.  
Moore wanted to say that is was just bats, but she couldn't. She knew that the sound Charles was talking about wasn't the bats. There was some noise, some unidentifiable noise that plagued the room. Even as the bats cried and flew, loudly flapping their wings, She could hear it, and feel it too. Moore held on to the cat.  
Out of the cloud of bats came a hand. Well, it looked like a hand, but it was red and had a glove on it. It looked like the owner of the had had been really burned but the hand's master was too strong for that.  
The bats covered Charles' view. A few minutes later, after all the bats had left, Charles opened his eyes and looked around. Through heavy breathing he asked, "A-are you okay Moore?" He gripped his blue police helmet and took in what he saw. Moore was nowhere to be seen. "Moore!" Charles tried.  
Charles attempts to contact Moore were futile. Moore had been pulled by the mysterious red hand to another part of the church. The hand's owner had placed Moore, who was still clutching the cat, down in a wooden chair in the corner of a small room.  
"Gotcha!" Someone said. "I wont let you get away this time!" Could this be the reason that many travelers had disappeared from the church? Could it be real? All this time and everyone thought it was just a story made up by frustrated parents, but here he was.  
'Eh?' Moore thought. 'A human?' He was about 5'8 and had blond hair. No, his hair was white, bright white and messy. He wore a long coat and had s slight English accent. Moore figured that her description, if she would live to give it, would be helpful in catching this creep.  
The boy reached out to Moore and she quickly slapped a handcuff around his arm. Moore cursed at the child who was about to do the same thing to her that he had done to all his other victims.  
'It's a cop!' Allen thought. 'Oh no!' He was in trouble. He had really done it this time.  
"Who are you?" Moore demanded.  
The boy backed away and put his hands up. "I'm s-sorry! I was into it and didn't notice you!" Allen was nervous. Cross would really be mad this time. He could picture the lashing he would receive this time. "I was trying to grab that cat." He put his hands up and and smiled fearfully. "I'm, um, a traveler..."  
Moore strung the other end of the handcuff over a pole next to the chair and clipped the otherend of the handcuff to the traveler's hand.  
"I wasn't aware that there were such bad rumors about this place," the boy said. His big friendly smile hung across his face. "I came to this town this morning, but while I was walking over here, this cat ate a valuable item of mine and I was just looking for it." Moore just stood there, still not convinced that his story was true. "It's true!" the boy yelled. "It's and item I got from my master, and I can't afford to lose it!"  
"Master?" Moore asked suspiciously. She stood confidently with her arms crossed in front of her. She faced the strange boy with her hair neatly tucked up in a bow with her police helmet on. She thought it made her look, I don't know, more police-like maybe. "Then, where is he?" She was searching for some hole in his story.  
"Well..." the boy said. Moore thought she had found a hole in his story. "Um... He's missing somewhere in India."  
'He took so long to answer that question. He has to be making this up.' Moore thought. She couldn't think of anything to say to the boy so she just stared at him. He freaked out.  
The boy got nervous and stared at the fat blond cat smiling back at him and thought, 'It's all your fault!'  
'He's just a kid," Moore reasoned. How could he be the one who stole away and killed all of those travelers? 'What a weird kid.' She thought. "Well," Moore said, "I am going to round up your companions so just wait here." Moore nervously left.  
Do do do do do do do.  
"What?" Moore asked. The strange noise continued. "What?"  
Do do do do do.  
"Um... You stay here!" Moore yelled back to the strange boy in the other room.  
Do do do do do do do do.  
"Who's there!" Moore yelled. Once again she felt that the stories that had been told about this place might have been true. Moore looked frantically around the room. What once was decrepit and old looking was now destroyed. There were holes in the floor everywhere. One of the wooden columns in the room was newly cracked in the middle and the other had broken from the floor. Charles was roped to it. Charles looked okay, but Moore noticed something different about him; he had stars on his face. "Cha... Charles!" Moore cried. She was shocked to see him there. She had almost forgotten about him.  
"Su. Su. Su. Su!" Charles yelled.  
Moore noticed that the stars were spreading and getting smaller so that more could fit on his face. Another blink later, Charles' face was completely black. He continued to yell something, but Moore couldn't make out what it was.  
BOOM!  
Charles exploded into thousands of little pieces.  
Moore just stood there in shock. Her eyes grew wide. "This is..." She began, hardly able to get the words to leave her mouth. "This can't be... The rumors are true..." Moore was shocked. What she had believed all of her life was just some story was really true. "What? The rumors are true" Moore grasped her throat as strangely colored clouds filled the room. "Ugh. Wh...at? I can't..." Suddenly there was a had holding a cloth over her mouth. She grabbed at the hand, feebly attempting to remove the had. It was the boy. He held her with one arm gently supporting her back and his other had holding the cloth over her face.  
"Be careful," He warned. "The gas coming from the corpse is poisonous. He's getting killed by the 'Akuma.'"  
"Ah." Moore replied. There wasn't much more she could say with the cloth over her mouth and nose. 'Devil?' she thought. Moore closed her eyes and allowed her self to sleep, or so it felt.  
"Officer?" the boy asked as Moore fainted.  
"Moore! You're conscious again!" the police chief said excitedly.  
Moore dizzily sat up, still feeling light headed from passing out a few hours ago. "Eh?" Moore questioned. She blinked hard and grabbed her head. "Where am I?"  
"At the station! And just in time! Come with me!" the chief said.  
"What?" Moore asked quickly as the chief pulled her up off the bench she had been laying on.  
"Detective, Officer Moore is conscious again." "Come in, " The detective said.  
"By the way," Moore began. The police chief turned to face her. "Charles..."  
"We know." Th chief interrupted. Moore was thankful for not havng to say anything about Charles' fate. "We're interrogating the suspect right now."  
"What!" A suspect! How could they have a suspect? Nobody was there besides Charles, herself, an akuma, and... that boy.  
"His name is Allen Walker." The police chief continued. Moore and Allen looked at each other with surprise.  
The detective took over for the police chief and dismissed him. "Unknown address, underage, and from an unknown country." The the detective turned back towards Allen. "You didn't do it did you!" the detective snarled.  
Allen's hands were tied in front of him. He loked frustrated that the detective wouldn't believe him. "I told you I didn't! Why are you so suspicious of me! I just carried the unconscious officer here!"  
Moore looked at the two in shock. The detective was fat and ugly and making some terrible faces at Allen who only protected her and trying to et something from a cat.  
The detective wrinkled his face with his cigarette struggling to stay in his mouth. "It's weird that you were in that church in the first place! And besides, look at your hand! It's red, it must be blood!" "Umm, no. This hand is really..." Allen unbuckled the end of his shirt sleeve to show the detective that his entire hand, well his entire arm, was red and wrinkly.  
The detective looked at Allen's left hand with shock. He pulled his hand quickly away from Allen as he began to get nervous and sweat. 'What... What the blankety-blank it this?' he wondered.  
"URGH!" Allen cried from the other side of the table.  
The detective didn't believe for one second that Allen's story was true. How could his arm have gotten like that besides Allen burning that weird green cross in the center of his hand. "What the blankety-blank are you trying to pull!" The detective's finger shook violently at Allen's face. "Doesn't it hurt burning a cross into your hand! You darn psychopath! You're supposed to take good care of the body that your parents gave you!"  
Allen just looked at the detective nervously, but like he wasn't paying attention. Then it occurred to the detective that, 'Allen doesn't look so good...' the detective thought.  
Moore, who had been watching this the entire time had to find away to get the detectives to get a real suspect. It couldn't have been Allen that had done anything and now he was being blamed for killing people in the church, specifically Charles, and making Moore unconscious. "Uh... Um! This boy was with me when the incident occurred." "What!" the detective asked. This threw his entire case off!  
Then the police chief returned. The chief leaned close to the sweaty and gross detective and whispered "Detective, there seems to be a large bullet hloe left where the incident took place. However, the boy only had a cat with him!" The detective seethed. He became even more frustrated, not to mention confused, as the police chief continued. "At this time, we haven't found any weapons in the church that are capable of such a thing."  
Then the detective exploded, "WHY DID YOU BECOME UNCONSCIOUS! OFFICER MOORE HESSE!" Allen and Moore leaned back while the detective screamed at them. The detective then retired to a chair to attempt to sort out just what happened at the church.  
Allen and Moore stood up straight again. "I-I'm very sorry," Moore said. She knew that he was going to have a really tough time trying to figure this one out.  
"Be more courageous!" The detective spat. "You were on the scene and didn't even see the culprit!"  
Allen, who seemed to be forgotten about, raised his left hand. "I know the culprit... I couldn't see it, but I know what it is. Let me help you in the investigation." Allen added kindly. Then he buckled his left shirt sleeve. "It's nickname is 'Akuma.' I see them often. That thing gets experience by killing, and evolves as it kills." Allen picked up the golden cat with one brown ear before he continued. "And it wont stop killing. If we don't stop it soon, it'll get out of control." Allen raised his left hand to show it's back to Moore and the detective. "Do you know what 'exorcists' are? They are members of an anti-akuma group that consists of holy priests.  
Meanwhile, back at the church, a 'Keep Out' sign had been posted. "I head that an officer died recently." A strange voice said.  
Then a purple umbrella with a small jack-o-lantern head and a cone hat, who was not really just an umbrella topped by a jack-o-lantern and a cone, but a golem, a weird creature that can be in many forms, that serve exorcists and their enemies on the other side of the war, said, "Yeah, I heard it was pretty bad. I guess the rumors were true after all."  
A crowd had gathered outside of the church. The strange man with the umbrella golem waded through the crowd listening to people's conversations.  
"That church is possessed! Bad things even happened to Father Mark!" one accused.  
"Oh? What do you mean?" another asked.  
"I shouldn't speak of this in public, but-" yet another began. "Two years ago, in an incident involving a priest and his priestess wife occurred at this church..."  
The man continued and arrived at his destination: Moore's apartment. There, Moore's brother, Father Mark, was sitting in his wheelchair when smoke filled the room when the semi-tall, very fat man with a tall top hat covering his head, leaving no traces of hair, and very long ears that stuck out on either side of his head appeared. He had a rather large smile spread across his face. The hat he was wearing was covered with roses. He wore a long yellow jacket and funny circular glasses. "Hehehe. Everyone is frightened," the man said. His voice was very creepy and sounded much like fingernails scratching on a chalkboard, but Father Mark seemed to have no problem with it. Weird. "My precious akuma," the strange man continued. "Kill more and more and evolve even more." The man spoke lovingly, but creepily.

"Brother?" A voice called from behind the front door. The strange man turned to face the room's door. He had to get out of the apartment. "I'm home, Brother Mark! How are you feeling?" the voice said again. It could only have been Moore, and she couldn't see him, not now anyway. The strange man disappeared as suddenly as he disappeared.

"Welcome back, Moore," Brother Mark smiled. "You're home early today."

Moore smiled as she looked around the room. Brother Mark was comfortably positioned by the fire, a blanket covering his lap. His long hair covered his eyes, but she knew they looked old. As she glanced around the room, she noticed that there was something Brother Mark had forgotten to do. "Oh," she said, kindly, "You still haven't eaten yet!" Moore walked over to the table, not even stopping to take her long gray coat off. She tried to fix a tray for Brother Mark. "Brother, you haven't eaten anything lately. You know you have to start eating."  
Mark just stared at her, the circles around his eyes becoming increasingly dark. "My stomach is full," he said bluntly.  
"I'm sorry."  
"But I'm sure I'll want to eat again soon." Of course he didn't actually mean eat... Well, you'll see in just a minute.  
"All right, don't give up, Brother!" Moore said kneeling in front of her brother. "I'm sure our sister in heaven is wishing for that as well."  
Then there came a loud crash from outside the front door. "Ah!" someone yelled.  
Moore looked over and thought, 'Waaah! I said not to make a big commotion!'  
"Is someone there?" Brother Mark asked, looking at the door.  
"Um, Brother," Moore began as Allen crashed in to the room knocking a bunch of pictures from the wall, still holding that cat.  
"What the heck are you doing!" Moore scolded Allen. "I told you not to leave the room!"  
"Um, yeah..." Allen replied nervously.  
"You were gonna go to the church again, weren't you!" Moore asked and yelled simultaneously.  
"Just for a little while!"  
"NO!" Moore refused.  
Immediately, both their thoughts turned to the detective. "Exorcist?" they remembered him saying. "All right, fin, you can go now!" they rememberes his hand shooing them. "I'm going back to the scene. Officer Moore, you go back to your house and watch over him!"  
Then Allen asked, "Doesn't that mean I'm supposed to stay here until the investigation is over..." Allen walked over to the window with the cat sitting on his shoulder. "The church is right in front of me too..." he added. "I wonder if the detectives are all right in there."  
Moore sat down at the table and rested her head on her hand. "Allen," she began, "Do you really think the culprit is an akuma?"  
"Yeah, why?"  
"Don't you know that an 'Akuma' is just an imaginary creature that was created by our ancestors, who feared diseases and pain?" Moore said. She tried to break the news to Allen kindly. "It's only a word, or an imaginary thing. They don't exist in reality. I don't believe in Akuma."  
"I hate them." Allen said. "Um... The akuma I'm talking about isn't the akuma you're talking about."  
"What?" Moore gasped.  
Allen looked at his left hand. "Akuma is the name of a weapon. It's a weapon made by the devil that targets human beings. That is 'akuma.'" Brother Mark sat alone by the door. He wheeled himself in to the room as Allen continued. "Normally, it takes the from of a human being, so it's hard to tell but..." Allen and Moore looked over at Brother Mark his eye's looked receded, or more so than earlier, and the circles aound his eyes were very dark now. He moaned as he wheeled himself further into the room.  
"Brother Mark!" Moore rushed over to her brother and kneeled in from of him. "What's wrong?" she asked.  
Allen and the can sitting on his shoulder stared at brother Mark. There was something... Not right... About him that Allen noticed immediately. Allen's cursed left eye which had a pentacle above it and a scar running over it noticed that Moore's brother was an akuma.  
"My... My stomach..." Mark groaned, "Starving... LET ME KILL!"  
"What?" Moore asked.  
Mark bust out into his akuma form. The body of their dead sister was above his head, tree-trunk-like projections were shooting from his shoulders, back, and hips.  
Moore stared, still kneeling with her hands on her brother's wheel chair.  
Marks face changed and his hair grew longer.  
Moore just stared at him. A star appeared on his head and his eyes became very dark. Mark's body was now a floating metal circle with his face in the middle and weapons sticking out all over. One of these weapons was pointed at Moore.  
"Brother?" She helplessly asked. "What the heck is this?"  
Allen reached out to grab Moore as the akuma disguised as Moore's brother began shooting at Allen and Moore.  
Quickly, Allen grabbed Moore ad they shot to the other end of the room. They landed hard. Allen sat up as one of the darts filled with the same virus that killed Charles raced towards his head. Nimbly, Allen reached up and closed his fingers around the dart. "Argh..." he said.  
When they had a brief moment to look around, Allen and Moore noticed that the detective and a few police officers were standing around and it looked like they were about to have dinner.  
"Err," Allen goraned. "Are you okay, Moore?"  
Moore, who was still in shock replied, "Yeah." Then she looked around the room. The last thing she knew she was in her apartment and her brother was attacking her but now she was someplace totally different. "Where are we?"  
"At the church," Allen began. "I think the darts blew us away." Allen looked down and saw that he still had that cat. When he looked back up, he noticed Moore looking at his left arm with the dart in his hand.  
"Impossible!" Moore said. She was quite shocked that, "You stopped a bullet!" Moore reached out to touch the bullet.  
"Don't touch," Allen warned. "It's a bullet with the akuma's blood. The bullet contains a poisonous virus. The akuma changes its physical aspect into a gun and fires a bullet at us." Allen looked down at the cat and saw that it was hit by one of the bullets. It had a dark star by its neck. "If you get hit," Allen continued, "by the bullet, the virus immediately infects you and..." The cat Allen was holding was now covered with stars. "You shatter." Allen finished as the cat, holding the precious item that belonged to his master, shattered. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you," Allen said to the remains of the cat.  
Moore just stared. She wasn't sure what to say. A few minutes later she asked, "What happened to Brother Mark...?"  
Allen looked over at Moore kindly. "Moore," he began, "the akuma takes over a body and infiltrates our world. That wasn't Mark. That was an akuma that killed Mark and took over his corpse."  
Moore's eyes opened wide. "My brother was killed?" she asked with a look of shock and grief gently pained across her scared face. Suddenly, she was blown back into Allen.  
"Here it comes!" he yelled. At that moment, the sphere covered with guns that was previously believed to be Mark reentered the church.  
"Yo!" the a voice yelled. "What the blankety-blank are you guys doing here!"  
"Detective!" Allen yelled. He had seen the detective earlier, but it didn't occur to him that it was the detective.  
Then the detective noticed the akuma. "BLANK!" the detective cursed. "What the blankety-blank is that!" The detective drew his gun.  
Allen noticed the detective's quick moved and saw the small pistol pointed at the akuma. "You can't kill it with guns! Run away now!" Allen yelled.  
The akuma fired his guns. He fired. He fired again. Again. He kept firing. Kept firing. Again. More firing. It drove Moore crazy. "Stop it." Still the akuma fired some more. Soon, the detective and the policemen he was with were covered in black stars.  
"Detective..." Moore began.  
With a sickening pop, the policemen and the detective crumbled.  
"Everyone...?" Moore tried desperately. Some of those officers were her friends. Practically everyone she knew was a police officer. Many of her friends were just shattered by the akuma who used to be her brother. If Moore was crazy before, she was insane now. "YOU BEAST!" Moore yelled. "Why do you kill everyone! WHY!"  
"Moore," Allen said. "It's useless trying to talk to it." Moore looked over at Allen. Then Allen continued, his blue-grey eyes staring deeply into both of Moore's eyes. "It's not doing this because it wants to. It is programmed as a weapon so it can evolve."  
"That's just a killing machine!" Moore yelled, pointing at what just a few hours ago she believed to be her brother.  
"No." Allen said calmly. "An akuma is a living weapon that has a soul implemented in it. That soul is the controlled by the creator. A person who has no faith in life, who hates their looks, and hates to face reality... It is frustration of the soul that becomes the source of energy that drives an akuma to evolve. Even in that akuma, a soul has been implemented." Allen looked at the akuma. He saw a distraught looking girl that was chained to the akuma. "Someone had a special bond with Mark," Allen continued. "An akuma is born with the ingredients of machine, soul, and despair. All human beings have a dark side to our hearts. That side gives birth to the despair which in turn makes the Creator appear and give birth to an akuma." Allen and Moore stood up. Allen gently grabbed Moore's arm. "Mark was probably in so much despair that the Creator had his eyes on him."  
'Despair...' Moore thought. Then she remembered. She remembered Mark's wife, a cheery, beautiful, religious woman. 'Sister Claire, thank you.'  
"Thanks, Moore." Claire had said. Moore remembered the church before the akuma had destroyed it. The church looked happy and love, and the cross posted outside the church looked welcoming.

* * *

"My sister and I lost our parents when we werevery young," Moore began, thinking of Mark on the day he married Claire. "Brother Mark always encouraged us and helped us. He and my sister fell and got married. My sister was so happy."  
Moore thought of a night that seemed forever ago now. "You had a fight with Moore?" Mark asked.  
Claire, who was sitting inside the church, dressed in her uniform turned around on the organ's chair. "I'm opposed to her being a police officer." Claire began. The she turned back around to face the organ again and started to cry. "But she wants to catch the criminals that murdered our father and mother. God is teasing us," Claire sobbed. "I threw out my anger, and prayed everyday so she could be happy. I never expected her to choose this path."  
Mark approached Claire with a sweet look look his face and his hand over his heart. "Claire," Mark began, almost smiling. "Believe in God. Moore didn't become a cop to avenge your mother and father." Moore was carefully hidden behind Mark's back, her long blond hair gave way to bangs near the top of her head that carefully covered Moore's crying eyes. "It's so we could all live together happily and protected," Mark continued. "You and God helped her grow up. Believe in her."  
Meanwhile, unheard and unseen, the frayed cord the chandelier was hung by began to break.  
"Moore's feelings, and the protection of God wouldn't betray those who put faith in him."  
Claire turned and smiled. After a few seconds of quite contemplation, she said, "You're right."  
Then, the cord holding the big, heavychandelier broke sending it hurtling towards Claire.  
"I'll believe that!" Claire said, smiling.  
The chandelier hit Claire, killing her instantly.  
"Claire!" Moore yelled.  
Mark rushed over to Claire's side and kneeled down beside her. "Why God! Why! CLAIRE!" Mark cried.  
"Claire! Claire!" Mo ore whispered in disbelief on the other side of the room.  
"Claire!" Mark screamed again.  
"That "God took my wife!" Mark yelled one night, holding a sharp axe in his hands and letting his wild hair fly all over. "What punishment! I'll curse it!"

"A priest that cursed the gods..." Allen said. "It probably appeared then."  
Moore imagined that the Creator appeared then.  
"Hello!" the Creator said. This is a magical body that I created. Insert a souls an it will be revived. You could get Claire back from the wretched gods." The creator smiled. "To do this though,, I'll need your cooperation. As you are the one that has a special bond with Claire, I'll need your voice. The voice that can bring back the soul from heaven.  
"Claire!" Mark yelled running towards the magic body. The Creator's magic body was suddenly engulfed in flames. A star appeared on the skull and underneath, the name "Claire" was inscribed.  
Mark smiled as Claire began to speak. "Ma... Mark..." Mark was overjoyed. His beloved Claire was once again alive! "What did you do..." Claire asked."What?" Mark wondered.  
"You made me into an akuma!" Claire yelled. "I'm trapped and I can't get out!" Mark looked shocked and scared.  
"Fufufu!" the Creator said. "You belong to me now, Claire! Kill this boy now, and that's an order!"  
"Argh!" Claire cried. She began to climb inside Mark.  
"Happy birthday to you!" the Creator sang merrily. "Happy birthday to you!" "Ha-" the Creator continued, occasionally hitting a triangle (you know, the musical instrument).  
"Stop it!" Mark tried again.  
"-ppy birthday dear..."  
"Claire!" Mark sobbed as Claire was finally inside him.  
"There!" the Creator exclaimed. "Done."

* * *

"No..." Moore cried looking at the akuma before her. "You're my sister...? This thing is my sister Claire!" Moore sobbed.  
Allen stood up. "The cross that lives within me..." Allen began, talking to his left arm. "It's time you unleash power to destroy darkness." Allen stared at the akuma. "May your soul be saved," Allen said kindly, "you poor akuma. I'm sorry... It must hurt. But I'll make it comfortable soon." When the akuma was killed, Allen said, "Rest in peace, ."  
Moore stood back crying.  
Suddenly, Claire appeared, smiling widely. As she disintegrated, she whispered, "Thank you..."  
"I wonder if they were able to go to God..." Moore wondered. "Both Sister Claire and Brother Mark."  
Allen sat down and smiled sweetly. "Hmm... I bet they did..."  
Moore sat next to him and cried.

* * *

The Millennium Earl. That's what they call the Creator. He is putting a scenario into action in which all of mankind will come to an end. Bringing an end to that scenario is what an exorcist does.

Akuma  
The souls of the dead and the machine merge  
to become a living weapon of the devil.  
Exorcists  
Black clergymen who  
destroy Akuma.

Imaginary end of the 19th century. Night after night, strange things happen...

Chapter 2:  
The Night of the Full Moon

"Timcampy," Allen began. He was sitting on the back of a cart that was hopefully heading towards the Dark Order headquarters. Allen was overtired because of the long days of travel he had experienced over the past few days. He also missed Moore. Allen wished he could have done more to help her, but he had to keep walking. Allen also missed Cross. Cross wasn't always the nicest, but he was funny and ever since Mana died, Cross was all Allen had. Cross was almost like a father to Allen. Basically, Allen was feeling all emotional and sad, and it came off as grouchy-ness. Poor Tim. Allen didn't mean to take it out on him. "Timcampy! Don't fly around so much. What will we do if you get bitten by a cat again?"  
The curtain behind Allen was drawn by a tall fat clown with what looked like a bib on his head, a ruffle around his neck, and a dotted outfit. The drawn drape revealed a man in a bunny suit wearing a bow tie and not much else (it was a very revealing outfit... Or lack thereof), and a short, thin clown, a red and white stripped dunce cap adorning his head  
"What?" the fat clown gasped. "You were bitten by a cat? I'm surprised you're safe."  
Allen caught his sarcastic tone and told them that, "The cat had risen from the grave."  
"What?" The bunny asked, shoving the clown. "Did you come here to do some sightseeing, traveler?" The bunny smiled. Then again, it was a bunny costume, so I don't think she had much choice.  
"No. Just going there to greet them..." Allen replied, gently playing with Tim's lengthy tail. Allen turned around. "To the headquarters of the exorcists!" Allen finished.  
*** 3 Months Ago, Somewhere In India***  
Allen was sitting on his knees in front of Cross. His hair was ratty and messy and he ad been staring at the elephants playing in a pool near where they were staying. The sun beat down hard this time of year and Allen was swealtering in his black pants and long sleeved white shirt. It was so hot that Allen had fashionably rolled up his sleeve, reveling the redness of his left arm (and the plain-ness of his right).  
"Allen." Cross called.  
Allen's head sprang up to look at his master. "Yes, Master." Allen responded. If he wasn't so intent on what Cross was going to say, Allen would have noted Cross' long, bright red hair that was sticking out in all directions neatly and was only tamed by the wide-brimmed hat he was wearing. Allen would have wondered how Cross was not overheating in his black exorcist uniform and gloves. Cross' mask was also a mystery to him. How he managed to survive in that and... Oh... Maybe it was that glass of red wine Cross was sipping on.  
Anyway, Cross then reminded Allen that, "It's been three years since you became my apprentice. I think it's about time that you go out on your own..." Allen sat attentively. "From today on, you carry the title 'Exorcist.'  
Allen's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He was so excited. He had waited for this day for years. "Really!"  
"But," Cross continued, forcing Allen back into his state of attentiveness. "To officially become an exorcist, you must first come with me to the headquarters and greet the people there."  
Cross stood up and towered over Allen. He lifted his mini hammer thing an said, "You do know where headquarters is, right?" If Allen had not lived with Cross for three years, Allen would have been scared. He still fell over backwards.  
"..." Allen said (or rather, didn't say) after an annoyed glance. "Yes?" Allen said (for real this time), not quite sure of himself.  
"I'll have my golem accompany you. I'll even recommend you to your superior, Komui..." Allen backed away. Cross was getting excited and when he was excited, he got a creepy look on his face, like the one he was wearing now. "When you wake up, go forth!"

"Don't tell me you're backing out of coming with me, Master!" Allen said nervously.  
Cross calmly replied, "I don't like headquarters."  
"Ah!" Allen said, annoyed and nervous, sitting on the floor hugging his knees and folding his arms in front of him.  
***

* * *

"D... Dreaming again..." Allen stuttered. His legs were in a 'w' shape. One of his hands was nervously gripping at his chest and the other was extended in front of him. "I still can't stop thinking about it." Alle was breathing heavily.  
The fat clown stepped out. "What happened?" he asked kindly. "It seems you were moaning..."  
Suddenly, from a building some place nearby, some one yelled, "IT'S AN AKUMA! It's an akuma! You're gonna get killed-"  
"Wh... What!" the clown asked.  
"Thanks for the lift!" Allen said, jumping off the moving cart.  
The clown hid behind the curtain. "Oh, my!"  
Allen ran over to the building. "Are you okay!" Alen asked quickly. "The akuma... Where is is...!" There was a police officer, a chef, a mysterious stranger in a drak hood, a mailman, a scientist, a dude with a mohawk, a tough guy wearing suspenders, a kid in an airplane helmet, and some guy in a hat that looked like bandages with a peculiar ruffle on top staring back at him.  
"There aren't any akuma here." the tough dude said.  
"Allen looked confused and annoyed. "Eh?" he said.  
"See, Jan," the tough guy scolded the kid, punching him on the head, "I told you that just because you were gonna get killed..." The tough guy turned and pointed at Jan. "Sorry," he told Allen, "it was this guy's fault. He was screaming about an akuma and messing with the adults."  
The boy, who was presently hanging by his shirt, said, :I'm not just playing around, BAKA! There really is an akuma! They're slowly invading the world! My dad told me all about it!"  
"Yeah, yeah," The people behind Jan said. "We heard you. Here's a candy-"  
"Don't treat me like a kid!" Jan roared.  
Allen stood back and stared.  
"It's true! Just a minute ago, a homeless man down there got killed by a big guy with a hat! Then they put the bones of the akuma in to his body!" Jan yelled, pointing at the mysterious stranger in the back of the crowd. It's always the mysterious strangers, isn't it...  
The stranger pulled Jan close, covering his Jan's mouth. "Sorry about that, it's nothing!" the mysterious stranger said a little too quickly. "I was playing with the kid a little too enthusiastically, and he got too into it..."  
"ERM!" Jan tried.  
Then men left. "I knew it..." crowd members mumbled. "Even if you scream, we're not gonna listen, Jan."  
Allen stared at the stranger holding Jan.  
... Crickets, crickets, crickets...  
Allen's left arm became the long, mechanical akuma fighting weapon that he had been learning how to control over the past few years. "You can't decieve my eye." Allen began. "You're an akuma."  
A star appeared on the man's face which soon crumbled.  
"You're name is Jan, right?" Allen asked. "You seem to know a lot about akuma. But who are you?"  
Jan flew at Allen in a super big hug. "KYAA!" Allen screamed, shocked. "Argh!" he added later.  
"AN EXORCIST!" jan yelled excitedly. "Wow, it's the first time I've ever seen one!" Allen thought that Jan talked about him like he was an object and not a human bean... I mean being. "Was that the anti-akuma weapon? Can I see?...Eh? My dad is a scientist for the Vatican." Jan started walking away. Allen followed. "But he's never home, due to work. I was bored so I started to read is science notes, and that's where I learned about akuma."  
While Jan was talking, all Allen could think was, "What weird shoes..." Jan was wearing his roller blades. I guess Allen had never seen them before.  
"I hop that one day I'll also become one of the best scientists in the world so I can make a weapon that will instantly remove an akuma!" Jan continued excitedly. "Anyways..."  
"What?" Allen asked.  
"I didn;t know exorcists could be so physically weak..." Jan said rudely. "How many akuma have you destroyed so far? How did you get that anti-akuma weapon? How old were you when you destroyed your first akuma?"  
Allen smiled kindly. "Jan, don't ask so many questions," Allen warned. "Just like that last akuma... You shouldn't do anything that will get the Creator's attention. It's dangerous."  
"Here." Jan said, annoyedly.  
"Eh? An onion?"  
POOF!  
"Haha- It's my own invention, the Onion Bomb! You think I'm just gonna let the akuma attack us all? Bleep no!" Jan said, running away. What to you mean by dangerous? Don't treat me like a kid, you weakling!"  
"My eyes... My eyes!" Allen said. It was all he could manage. "Gosh... It stings... Forget that..."  
Meanwhile, at Jan's house, the family maid was knocking on Jan's door. "Mister!" she cried. "Mister! Mr. Jan, a guest is at the door. Do you hear me? !"  
Jan opened the door slightly. "Who...?" Jan asked. Then he caught sight of his old friend Leo. "LEO!" Jan cried. "It's been a while, partner! I haven't heard from you since the funeral, I was beginning to get worried!"  
Leo leaned forward and looked at some of the potions and experiments Jan had been working on. Leo smiled.  
"You were at your relative's place?" Jan asked. "I know it must be hard on you, since you lost your mum, but I'll help in any way possible. So cheer up!"  
Leo didn't say anything.  
'Hmm.. He's changed a bit...' Jan thought. 'I guess losing his mum was a big shock to him.  
Jan sat on the big fluffy chair in his room and started at the picture of him and Leo on his wall. He remembered that day well. It had been fun. In the picture, Leo pulled his lips out weirdly and Jan stuck his tongue out.  
'I wonder if there is anything that will cheer him up...' Jan thought.  
"Oh, right!" Jan said. "I finally saw an akuma for the first time today! I was patrolling while you were gone. I knew the inside was machinery skeleton. And I also, saw the Millennium Earl!"  
Leo looked over at Jan.  
"I bet you it's him! Hold on, I'll draw it on a piece of paper. It was like..."  
While Jan talked, Leo pictured the Millennium Earl. He saw the Earl of the Millennium in his mind.  
"Like this!" Jan said, holding his picture of the Earl. "Lets hand out this picture and go on patrol like we used to!"  
"Jan," Leo said. It was the first thing he said all night. "I want you to go somewhere with me..."  
"I'm still concerned about it," Allen told Tim while pulling the cord to ring the door bell. "I guess I'll convince him before I go to headquarters."  
Allen looked terrible. He was still sore from Jan tackling him earlier.  
A moment or so later, a large woman who looked like a clown. Allen thought that she might be the maid or something. "Yes?" the strange woman asked.  
"Uh..." Allen stumbled. "Umm... I hear that this is Jan's house. Is Jan here?"  
The lady turned around to see Jan standing behind her. "?"  
Jan pushed her over as he said, "He's here..."  
The maid fell on Allen, squishing the poor, already sore, Allen.  
"What did you come for?" Jan asked. "Did you come here just to lecture me?" Jan asked, sticking his tongue out. "I wont listen to you anyway!"  
"Ja... Jan, you really are a..." Leo started.  
"Let's go, Leo," Jan said."  
Even though he was being squashed, Allen could still see what Leo really was. "Wait Jan! That boy..." Allen yelled. "Cows! Timcampy! Follow Jan! I'll be there soon!" So the cute, yellow, fluffy thing with huge, pointy, scary teeth fled the scene of Allen's crushing and raced off after Jan. "Yellow bellied finches...!" Allen cursed. He actually said a bad word, though. "Just when I was gonna go to headquarters." Allen saw Jan's picture of the Millennium Earl (better known in these parts as the Sennen Hakushaku. Please don't pronounce that correctly). "I have to greet this person first, Master..." Allen said.  
"Eh, Leo, you wanted to come here?" Leo asked. "It's a cemetery. Oh, did you want to come here so we could mourn the loss of your mum? You should have said so earlier, geesh..." Jan said scatting ahead.  
As Jan scatted forwards, he looked back at Leo. So, he bumped into things. Unfortunately, he got to bump into (probably the softest thing in the graveyard) the meanest thing in the cemetery (besides maybe Leo, who was standing behind him).  
The Millennium Earl put his hand on Jan's head. "Hello. Nice to meet you Jan."  
Jan jumped backwards. It was the Millennium Earl, or the Creator that Allen was talking about. Oh, no! Allen was right, but all Jan could do right now was stutter in surprise "Th-Th-The Earl of the Millennium!"  
Jan quickly grabbed one of his onion bombs. "Take this!" he yelled as he pelted the onion bomb at the Earl. Jan started to run, but then he noticed that Leo wasn't coming. "You! Leo! What's wrong? He'll kill you!"  
"Leo's been dead for a long time. Ever since his mum's funeral. That... You disturbed me, and for that, he's the akuma that will punish you!" the Earl said creepily.  
"No," Jan said sadly. "It can't be..."  
"It's true" A voice said. Jan soon discovered that it was Allen (and just on time to!). "Jan," Allen said. 'That boy is the Earl's akuma!" Allen's arm grew in to the large weapon that it sometimes was.  
Allen thought of the morning he left for headquarters. For some reason, he could only think of four words. "And the master left."

Chapter 3:  
Pentacle

Destroy...  
"Run!"  
Destroy...  
"Run, Mana!"  
Destroy...  
Destroy it!  
***

* * *

"Leo?" Jan asked.  
"Trust me, Jan. That boy is not human" Allen said. "That is only the physical appearance of your friend and underneath lies a weapon of the Earl of the Millennium. Akuma."  
"Who are you?" the Earl asked.  
"Good evening, Earl." Allen said. "I'm your enemy."  
"An exorcist! Well then, nice to meet y...? Nice to meet you...?" the Earl said. He seemed a little confused about whether or not it was nice to meet an Exorcist.  
This was because Allen, who already had his left arm in its anti-akuma claw from. "Cross," Allen said. "Destroy the akuma and purify the soul!" Allen's arm reached out for Leo and would have easily taken him out but Jan jumped in in between Leo and Allen's claw.  
"Jan...!" Allen said.  
"W... Why...?" Jan tried. "Why is Leo an akuma? He's my friend! We even started going on patrol for akuma together. We promised to protect the city from them... How could he possibly be an akuma? WHAT KIND OF PROOF DO YOU HAVE!" Jan screamed. The proof was right behind him. Jan no longer felt Leo standing behind him. Leo became his level 1 akuma from and may of his guns were pointed at Jan's head. "Leo..." Jan said.  
Leo started to fire his guns. "Jan!" Allen screamed grabbing Jan with his anti-akuma claw.  
"Ah!" Jan screamed as stars started to appear all over his face. "Allen!" Jan yelled.  
"Argh..." Allen said.  
"Cheese! Allen's been shot! An akuma's bullet is said to have a poison that destroys your body. If you get shot, it's said that the poison invades your body and destroys it!" Jan said.  
"Wow." the Millennium Earl said. He was standing next to his precious akuma with his hands together in front of him. "Wow. He was sure courageous to take the bullet like that. How do you feel now, Jan? You make me real flippin' angry, you know," the Earl added putting his right pointer finger to his overly large smile. "You're a weakling, yet you talk about 'justice' all the time. You even said I was a bad, bad person. I'm creating akuma for people's own sake." The Millennium reached out and touched an akuma, patting it gently unterneath one of its many guns. "It's so ugly isn't it? This symbolizes a person's suffering in their heart. You think an akuma is simply a weapon I create, but an akuma is made from a person's heart. Even this akuma. This one was created from your friend Leo, you know."  
"Leo did...?" Jan started, staring at the Earl.  
"Leo's dead mum. Leo..." The Earl said excitedly. "He used the Earl's power to bring back his dead Mum's soul, an then it became an akuma."  
Allen, whose face was completely black because of the akuma virus, whispered weakly, "I can see... As an akuma, his mum is suffering.  
"You can see?" the Earl said with surprise. "You dead brat, what the heck are you talking about?"  
Allen informed the Millennium Earl, "I'm a human that inherited an anti-akuma weapon, I can nullify the poison within me!" Allen's cross grew and shone as he banished the poison.  
"The infection is disappearing!" Jan said with shock and awe. "Allen... Your... What... Is that?" Jan asked, or tried to ask.  
"The curse...," Allen began. "In the past, I made an important person into an akuma... Because of that, I got a curse which lets me see into the soul of an akuma, through this eye."  
"Aaaah!" the Millennium Earl said. "I remember! I've met you before... You're Allen Walker! The kid that made his dad an akuma!"

* * *

Allen thought of the night, years ago now, when he turned his father into an akuma. Allen was sitting in his brown checker coat, crying by his father's grave when the Earl appeared. The Earl bent over, leaning on the cross bearing Mana Walker's name and marking the spot where her body was buried. The Earl looked at Allen. He looked through Allen's brown hair and his coat. He looked into Allen and saw despair. The perfect opportunity. A child, grieving his father. A young child too. "You want me to revive Mana Walker?" the Earl offered.  
Allen thought his voice was scratchy and unappealing, but he seemed to talk with hearts after everything he said. It was like he really cared about Allen and really wanted to bring Mana back for Allen. It was weird. Allen looked up at the Millennium Earl with blurry, tear filled eyes. "We weren't related by blood," Allen began, "but I was thrown away at birth because of my defective hand. And he was the only one that would adopt me." A few seconds later, Allen loudly cried, "Mana!"  
The bones that the Earl had filled with life. There was a star on his forehead and the word 'Mana' was written on his forehead. He had no skin, only bones and his spirit. "A...lle...n." Mana said. "You made me into an akuma..."  
Suddenly, Allen's defective arm turned into the large claw that it became around akuma. It went after Mana.  
"Guaaaaaaa!" Mana screamed.  
"I don't know what happened," Allen said.  
The Earl smiled, or well, continued to smile, allowing wrinckles to appear around his eyes and for the whites of his eyes to darken into black.  
Allen's hand dragged him along the ground towards the newly made akuma. "What the moo-juice...! My hands just automatically... MANA!" Allen welled. "No, don't do this to Mana...!" Allen yelled at his hand. "Run! Run, dad!"  
"Allen... I... Love you..." Amna said as Allen's claw began to wrap around him. "Please destroy me." Mana screamed as Allen destroyed him.  
"There is no escape freedom for the soul within an akuma. You're trapped within it for eternity, and you become the Earl's toy. There's no way to help it other than destroying it." Cross said. "Being born with an anti-akuma weapon... What a destiny you carry. You too are someone that has been given a destiny by God."

* * *

***  
"You wanna become an exorcist?" Jan asked.  
"Ever since then, I've been able to see the soul within an akuma. At firse, I thought it was because Mana cursed me... So as punnishmen, I wanted to become an exorcist." Allen said. "They cry to express love for those who made them into an akuma as if they are trying to tell them why they weren't strong enough to live." Allen held up his arm as the Earl smiled. "So it isn't really punishment, but I still wanted to live as an exorcist. This curse," Allen said while making a fist with his left hand, "is my destiny... Akuma are sad beings." Allen's arm exanded into the anti-akuma weapon. "They should never exist in this world! That is why I will destroy them.  
"Allen," the Earl said. " I should have killed you long ago.

Chapter 4:  
Preparation And The Beginning

"You can see the soul of an akuma?" The Earl asked putting his pinky to his large teeth. "You can save them? Try and do it if you can! Exorcist!" The akuma started shooting bullets.  
"Since the virus didn't work, you think simply shooting will do the job? Don't underestimate me." Allen said. "You only managed to hit me last time because I was protecting Jan. You wont kill me with that kind of attack. The anti-akuma weapon activated by my left hand possess enormous strength and speed. An akuma's bullets and hard body are no use against this hand." Allen held out his hand then moved it up towards his face. "This was made to destroy your weapon. It is God's weapon.  
"Hmph..." The Earl began. "Ignorant. Alright then." the Earl held up a purple umbrella that had a pumpkin head and a cone on his head (called Lero) and waved him around. "There's a famous saying back in the East. 'Even with a lousy gun, shoot a lot and you'll hit something.' I have a heck of a lot of akuma. Go! Akuma cannon!"  
All the akuma in the area (and there were a lot of them) simultaneously fired their many cannons.  
"Jan!" Allen yelled. "Get out of here! I'll destory them all!"  
"Destroy..." Jan said. "An akuma is a devil's weapon created by the Earl. An enemy of the people. I thought I knew...

***  
"Yo, this isn't good, Leo," Jan said. "akuma take over the bodies of the ones they've killed."  
"Eww, grotesque, I can't understand it! I'm also scared of you for reading that so casually!" Leo replied.  
"With this theory, We would never know who was an akuma." Jan added.

***  
"Leo's mum... All of a sudden..." Jan said sadly. "Leo... You were so shocked by your mum's death that... You developed a darkness within you? We even patrolled together to find an akuma. We knwe that the Earl of the Millennium was a bad guy. But... You... You took in the Earl? You... Idiot... You're an idiot, Leo... You wanted to see your mom again, even if whe was going to be an akuma... I can't see an akuma's soul like Alen can. And I can't see them cry, but... Bleep it... Moose bleep it! ... Sorry, Leo. It's my fault for telling you about the Earl in the first place... I only knew about them, and I knew nothing about people... DESTROY IT, ALLEN!"  
"Good night. It will all be over after this one attack." Allen said. "Cross glaive!" Large crosses appeared on all the akuma in the area.  
"Dang. I guess I wont be able to handle you at this level. I'll flee for now." The Earl open u[ his purple umbrella and flew away on it.  
"Earl!" Allen yelled.  
"But this is just the beginning," the Earl continued. "Akuma will be evolving all around the world. This is the true begining of the final act. I am the creator of the akuma, the Earl of the Millennium! I shall purify this world of the corrupted gods, and bring the world to an end! God's priests, the Exorcists. You can struggle all you want, but you won't be able to save the world! Never! Muahahaha! Just the beginning!" the Earl said flying away.  
Allen fainted.  
"Allen!" Jan yelled.  
"Jan..." Allen said "I'm sorry, but could you cal the doctor?"  
All Jan could say was, "Wow, so much blood! I'll bring the doctor soon. So.. Could you just faint until then...? It'll be over soon."

***Three days later***

"What are you making?" Allen asked Jan who was holding a soldering iron ominously.  
"Ah!" Jan screamed. "What the doorbell, don't just walk right into the room!"  
"I knocked," Allen said, "But you didn't notice."  
"It's Leo's epitaph." Jan said sadly, but reverently. "He's considered a run-away, so no one knows that he's dead. Until they notice and put up a grave for him... You're going to the exorcist headquarters, right Allen?" Jan asked, quickly changing the subject. Allen smiled, noticing that Jan had changed the subject a little too quickly.  
"Yeah." Allen replied. "Timcampy is going crazy. I'd better start heading out."  
"I'm going to my dad's place." Jan smiled. "I'll study more and gain some power, since I know I can't do much right now. All right... Then, let's both try our best!" Allen and Jan fist pounded.

Chapter 5:  
The Dark Religious Organization

"Hah... Hah..." Allen breathed heavily. Tim, on the other hand, was lazily flying in front of Allen, calmly flapping his wings with his arms and legs outstretched. "Why... Why the heck did they build this place all the way up here?" Allen was slowly scaling a very high cliff in the middle of nowhere somewhere in Europe. "Hah... Hah..." Allen's hand felt the top of the cliff. Slowly, Allen pulled himself up. "I... I finally made it... The main headquarters of the Exorcists, the Black Priests. Or is it? I've heard stories, but... The surroundings shre have a weird feeling to them. Is this really the right place, Timcampy?" Allen stood up, Tim flying next to his head. "Let's get going," he said nervously.  
Inside the headquarters, another golem flew around as Exorcists observed the stranger entering the building. They saw many pictures of him. There was a close up of his face (what was that scar?), they saw his trunk (what was he carrying? Would he do something to them?), they saw him walking up to the door from behind and the side. One question pervaded their minds: "Who is this kid?" someone asked.  
"No, no, no, you can't let outsiders come in here. Why didn't you stop him?" Komui asked.  
"Oh, Supervisor Komui. This guy seems a little different than a mormal outsider." Someone said.  
"Look here, brother!" Someone else said. "This boy. He's accompanied by General Cross' golem."  
"Excuse me...!" Komui said.  
Back out font, Allen had reached the door. There were three panels. The outer two were divided in half with tall crosses in both half. In the middle, there was a large face.  
A dark golem who was shaped like Tim, spherical with wings (although this golem lacked a tail), flew up to Allen. Allen told the golem, "I was sent here by Priest Cross Marian. I'm Allen Walker. I would like to discuss some issues with the priests.  
Inside the headquarters, someone said, "a friend of the general! He's still alive after all."  
"The boy is saying he is to be introduced. Supervisor, have you heard anything?" Someone else inquired.  
Allen stared at the golem. "Take the examination from the gate keeper behind you." The golem directed.  
"Huh?" Allen asked. He turned around and stared at the face that was the third column. The face, that was the gate keeper for the headquarters, opened his mouth, but didn't say a thing. "Hi." Allen said, smiling and trying to be friendly even though he was really scared. "Nice to meet you."  
The gate keeper stretched towards Allen and away from the door.  
"Hee..." Allen said. He was now really afraid of what the gate keeper would do to him.  
"X-ray examination," the gate keeper began as beams shot from his eyes. "Determining whether or not the subject is akuma or human."  
"Wha...?" For a second, Allen felt fuzzy and looked fuzzy too.  
"He won't show up?" the face asked. "Is it a bug? THIS GUY IS OUTTA HERE!" the gate keeper yelled. He couldn't determine what Allen was.  
"Eh!" Allen asked, leaning backwards with his eyes wide open.  
"This guy is a bug!" the gatekeeper cried. Tears poured from his eyes. "The pentacle on his forehead is cursed! Out! Out! The pentacle is the mark of an akuma. This guy is actually a friend of the Millennium Earl!"  
"Wha- What!" Allen asked "WHAT!"  
As it turned out, back inside the headquarters, lots of people yelled the same thing. There was a chorus of 'what' ringing through out the headquarters and Allen's 'what' from outside.  
Then an alarm went off. "Intruder alert! Intruder alert!"  
"Hey, are all the Exorcists in this building..." someone started to ask.  
A robot made by someone in the science department replied "They're all okay."  
Back outside, Allen saw someone flying towards him.  
Someone inside the HQ said informed everyone, "Kanda is already here!"  
Kanda flew towards Allen, unsheathing his sword. The gatekeeper cried. Allen looked at Kanda with shock and fear in his eyes.  
"You sure have courage coming here alone..." Kanda said threateningly. Allen was REALLY terrified.  
'He's gonna kill me!' Allen thought. "Wa- wait a moment!" I think youve mistaken me for some-!" Allen pleaded, shaking his outstretched hands nervously in front of him.  
Kanda approached him. Allen activated his arm, once again turning it into a long claw. Kanda swung his sword quickly at Allen who skillfully juped backwards, dodging the blow. Well, almost dodging it. Kanda's sword cut his left arm, which Allen didn't think was possible. "Wha-?" Allen asked. Allen ran around, trying to dodge more of Kanda's blows. "He damaged my anti-akuma weapon!" Allen noticed. "This can withstand a bullet from an akuma. But with just one hit, he...It is possible that katana...?" Allen wondered out loud.  
"You... What's with that arm?" Kanda asked.  
"This is an anti-akuma weapon. I am an Exorcist." Allen said boldly and confidently.  
"What!" Kanda asked. "GATEKEEPER!" Kanda scolded.  
"But... Well, if I can't determine his insodes, how can we know for sure! What if he is an akuma?" The gatekeeper tried to defend himself, but it didn't work out so well.  
"I'm a human!" Allen yelled, hitting the gatekeeper's chin. "Well, to tell the truth, I am a tiny bit cursed, but I'm still a nice human!"  
"Gyaaa!" Gatekeeper yelled. "Don't touch me, dimwit!"  
"Hmph... Well, whatever." Kanda said. :If I check your insides we will know for sure! Activate! Anti-akuma weapon! I shall slice you with this 'Mugen.'"  
'A katana-type anti-akuma weapon!' Allen thought, but he didn't have time to think anything else; Kanda was approaching quickly. "Wait! Really, wait! I'm not your enemy!' Allen yelled, Kanda was not far away now. "You should have gotten a letter of recommendation from Master Cross!" Allen yelled, and with perfect timing too. Kanda stopped less than 5 millimeters away from Allen's face.  
"A letter of recommendation... From the general?" Kanda asked.  
Allen, who was at this point scared out of his mind, replied, "Yes, a letter. Addressed to a person named Komui." What he was thinking, however, went more along the lies of 'Jeez, scary...'  
In the headquarters, Komui stopped wiping his mouth. Everyone turned and stared at him. Komui pointed at a random person with spiky hair. "You there!" Komui yelled.  
"Y-Yes?" the man asked.  
"Search my desk!" Komui demanded. Komui's desk was piled high with papers. Many thought that some of the papers piled on and around Komui's desk hadn't been touched for years. They probably had some unpaid taxes in that pile. Nobody knew, not even Komui. So, searching his desk was quite a daunting task.  
"Brother Komui..." Someone argued.  
"Supervisor..." Someone else argued.  
"I'll help too!" Komui announced, raising his right hand as if he were volunteering and asking someone to pick him.  
A few minutes later (it was a good thing that the letter had been sent to recently because it was sitting somewhere in one of the upper strata of Komui's desk) the random guy yelled, "Here! I found it! The letter from General Cross!"  
"Read it!" Komui ordered.  
"To Komui," it read. "Soon, I will be sending you a kid named Allen over there. Thanks. From Cross."  
"Right! So it's true." Komui said. "Squad leader River, stop Kanda!"  
"Another cup of coffee?" someone asked after Komui got his sixth cup of coffee that day.  
"Clean your desk once in a while!" someone yelled.  
River walked slowly towards Kanda. "Kanda, stop your attack," he chanted.  
"Lenalee," Komui said. "Help me set up. A new member has arrived.  
"O-open the gate?" Gatekeeper asked, still outside.  
Back inside, Komui mused. "A boy sent by Cross, huh... I'll have some fun judging him.

Chapter 6:  
Entering The Castle

"We allow you to pass. Allen Walker."

"Wah!" Allen said as Kanda brought his sword back towards Allen's face. "Wat, wait, Kanda!"  
"Komui..." Kanda said, confused about what he should do and what was going on because he had spent the last few minutes in a tunnel vision type thing where the only thing he thought about was killing Allen... Scary. "What is going on here?"  
"I'm sorry. Simply put, this child is General Cross' pupil. Say sorry, squad leader River. Go on, go on." Komui explained.  
"You make it sound like it was all my fault!" River said.  
Komui continued, "Timcampy is with him, and that is the proof. He is on our side."  
Kanda put his sword away as a girl approached. He remained really close to Allen and looked threatening. The girl walked over and hit Kanda on the head with a clip board.  
"Gosh!" the girl said. " I told you to stop! If you don't come in soon, I'm going to close the gate." Allen looked shocked. The girl looked like she was about the same age as himself and Kanda. She had beautiful dark green hair that she wore in two pigtails and big, beautiful, purple eyes. She wore the same coat as Kanda, an exorcists uniform. "Enter!" The girl seemed strange to Allen. Here she was, about the same age as Kanda, maybe younger, and a girl, but she bossed him around.  
Once they entered the castle, the girl turned to Allen and said, "I am Lenalee, the supervisor's assistant. I'll be taking you to the supervisor. Nice to meet you."  
Kanda had turned and waled away. "Oh, Kanda," Allen said as Kanda swiftly and annoyedly stopped and turned his head towards Allen. "That was you name, right?" Allen said ackwardly. Allen , trying to be friendly to the man that almost killed him more than five times in the past five minutes, held out his and to Kanda and said, "Nice to meet you." Allen smiled.  
Kanda glared cruelly and replied in an even crueler manner (which was not hard for Kanda to do), "Who the Sweedish Fish would want to shake hands with a cursed person?"  
The smile fell off of Allen's face. His eyes opened widely. He was shocked that someone could be so cold and heartless. Tim sat sympathetically on Allen's head as Kanda turned and strode away. 'Discrimination...' Allen thought.  
"I'm sorry," Lenalee said sweetly. "He just got back from his mission and he's a bit tired." Lenalee smiled.  
Two guards were standing in the hall net to each other. "Newcomer, eh..." one said.  
"Heh, he's just a child," the other replied.  
"I thought he was an old man... What's up with his hair?"  
"I heard that he's cursed."  
"Is that child ready for all this...?"  
'I'm being talked about.' Allen thought nervously.  
"Well, there is no age limit for Innocence," the guards contiued.  
"Allen Walker, huh..."  
'So this is the Black church..." Allen thought.  
"This is the cafeteria," Lenalee said. The cafeteria was empty now. There were thin tables connected to benches. The the floor looke like it was made out of cobblestones and the walls of brick and mortar, although some were painted. There were candles burning all over the room and many pictures haning on the walls."Right now, we are walking over the training room floor on the third level. Here is the lounge." The lounge was filled with comfy looking stripped sofas without arms on the sides. There was a loft and lots for candles. There were tall, arched windows and paintings placed all over the room. Allen would have liked to take a break there and talk to Lenalee but she kept walking and Allen didn't want to lose her. After all, Allen did have an amazing talent for getting lost. Soon, they arrived in a tall room that looked like it was the center of the building. There were 14 walls and each had a door on each floor. There were lots of floors, and therefore, lots of doors. "There are other places too," Lenalee continued, "such as the sanatorium, library, and individual rooms. I'll take you to those later on."  
"You get individual rooms!" Allen was shocked. Well, there was plenty of room in the building.  
Lenalee stopeed walking and turned to face Allen. "All Exorcists go off to their missions from here. So, some people call this base 'home.' There are some who purposefully don't come back here though."  
Allen couldn't help thinking of a certain guy who sent him here all by himself except for his golem, who provided some quality companionship and a few bites, but not much else. If only he had come, Allen probably wouldn't have been almost killed a few times by Kanda. 'My master...' Allen though annoyedly. "Home, huh..." he said out loud to himself.  
Allen and Lenalee went to a dirty looking floor with lights hanging from the ceiling and dust and dirt covering the walls, floor, and ceiling. The doors had letter or numbers on them. "Ah! What kinds of rooms are on this floor?" Allen asked.  
"You don't need to know," Lenalee said too quickly.  
"Why?"  
"Okay, let's get going." Lenalee walked down the stairs as Allen looked around. Allen soon followed and in just a minute or so, they reached Komui.  
"Hello, how are you doing today? I am Komui Lee, the scientific group supervisor." Komui was wearing a white version of the exorcist uniform with black accents and a beret. He was holding a coffee cup with a picture of a cute bunny on it. Allen remembered Cross saying something about Supervisor Komui. Allen was scared of him, but thought he was an interesting guy. "I welcome you, Allen," Komui continued. "There was a little trouble earlier, eh?"  
Allen looked back at Lenalee.  
Everyone in earshot thought in unison, 'And whose fault was that?'  
Allen and Lenalee followed Komui down a stair case until they reached a room that looked like it was an exam room in a hospital.  
"So," Komui began, "can you show me your arm?"  
"Huh?" Allen asked. Tim was still siting on his head, and Lenalee had gone someplace else, leaving Allen with very little moral support. Allen was a little scared now. " A while ago, you were attacked by Kanda and your weapon was damaged. No need to hold back." Komui looked at Allen's arm. The hand looked pretty much like it usually did (the word 'normal' didn't fit there) except one of the veins was large and white and several of the viens comming off it had the same affliction. "Looks like the nerve cords are damaged. Lenalee, bring me the anesthesia." Komui said.  
Lenalee who had appeared for just a bit had quickly found the anesthesia and handed it to Komui.  
"Can you activate it?" Komui asked Allen.  
"Activate!" Allen said. Suddenly, his arm was large and Komui stared at it in awe for just a moment. Then he noticed the deep gash in it.  
"Hmm..." Komui thought. Lenalee stared a Allen's arm as Komui took a swig of his coffee.  
"You're a parasitism type!" Lenalee was shocked. She had never seen one before.  
"Parasitism type?" Allen asked. As a newbie, he was just as unknowldgable as you. Well, you read the manga version I think, so that was a bad analogy. (Author sheepishly smiles here, not that anyone cares.)  
"Yeah," Komui said. He put his mug on a table and started to explain what a parasitism type was. "It means you're a compatible person who can turn his body into a weapon. Out of the many different types of anti-akuma weapons, it's the rarest type. Since a parasitism type weapon synchronizes with the body, it's more likely to get infected." Lomui put on his helmet and grabbed a big gun-like thing and put on a big smile.  
"What's all that gear?" Allen asked. You should have seen his face. Allen had been more afraid since he arrived at HQ then he had in the past few years living with Cross. Komui especially scared him. Komui knew it and he enjoed scaring Allen.  
"Hm? To repair your arm with," Komui replied. "It's a little shocking, actually. If you don't want to experience trauma, you better not look."  
"Wa-wait..." Allen said.  
"Go!" Komui yelled at the gun.  
People in the vicinity held their ears as Allen screamed, "GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
"It began," someone said.  
"How horrifying..." agreed someone else.  
"Brother Komui. After this, you're going to that place right?" Lenalee asked. "To check of Allen is human or not? Just in case..."  
"Hm? Nah, it's okay, he is human," Komui said.  
"How do you know?"  
"In this world, the only oraganisms that get cursed are humans." Soon, Komui finished up with Allen's arm. "Your arm won't move because of the anesthesia, but it's all fixed." Even though Komui gave Allen a lot of a local anesthesia, he was still in a lot of pain.  
'I am never going to damage this arm again...' Allen thought.  
"Now, now. There are some side effects, but parasitism types are rare. You type is one of the best at activating the power of the 'Innocence,'" Komui said.  
"Innocence?" Allen asked. He and Komui were on an elevator-like thing with a pyramid base. They were headed down to the bottom floor which was deep in the cliff.  
"You possess the Innocence of God. The power of all intellectual omnipotence. Yet again, I have gotten my hands on a god. These are people of our boss, the commander-in-chief. Now, show your value to these people," Komui said.  
"Huh?" Allen was confused by just about every word Komui just said.  
Suddenly, some long, thin, white things reached up from the behind the elevator thing and used it's spiral finger like projections to grab Allen. The things lifted Allen off of the elevator. He was entangled in a squishy white thing. Allen thought it was an octopus at first because it had so many of what he believed to be legs. "What...!" He said in surprise. It turned out that the thing that was holding him was more like a dragon with a lot of things coming off of it and a pair of lips. Yep. It was weird. And it felt like it was feeling Allen; feeling Allen's soul, his wants, his past, his future, and his left arm.  
"Ino... Ino..," it said. "Innocence..." It soon had suction cups coming from its strange whit body. It seemed to have no definite shape. Within seconds, it could go from having perfectly solid arm-like-things wrapped around his arm to having newly formed suction cups feeling his hand, like they were doing then. It really bugged Allen and freaked him out.  
"What is this... Ugh..." Allen said. "My cross, activate!" By this time, Allen's hand an upper arm were covered in the dragon thing's arm-like things.  
Komui, who had heard Allen's cries, replied, "Impossible. The anesthesia won't wear off until tomorrow. Your arm won't move."  
Allen had almost forgotten that Komui, who was unhumanly calm during all of this (and actually a little excited about the whole thing), was there. Poor Komui. No one ever appreciates him (except his self...). "Komui...! Ugh..." Allen said.  
"Your cross is really beautiful, Allen." Komui said. "How is it, Hebreska? How is this apostle of God? Does he satisfy your needs?"

Chapter 7:  
Pinpointing the Waypoint

Hebreska. That was her name. And currently she was holding Allen high above the rectangular elevator like thing that he and Komui had ridden down here on. Hebreska had white appendages wrapped all around Allen. This really freaked him out. Allen had already tried to activate it, but that failed. Now it seemed like Hebreska was going to eat him. Gulp.  
"Urgg..." Allen moaned. His face showed his pain and fear. "It feels terrible... What is this? It's almost as thought it's searching inside my body...!" Hebreska sure was weird. "Move!" Allen desperately shouted at his limp left arm.  
"The anesthesia won't allow it to move," Komui reminded him. Then he wondered, 'What is he trying to do!'  
Meanwhile, back in Allen's mind... "Hmph, anesthesia... MOVE! Come on, ACTIVATE!" Allen yelled. When nothing happened, again Allen yelled, "Curse this, MOVE!"  
Suddenly, Allen's left arm turned into the big claw that is became every once in a while. Only this time, it looked tired out and weak.  
"Ugh..." Allen said. Then Hebreska leaned her head in closer to Allen. Allen screamed at the top of his lungs. What was she? Allen didn't know and that's what scared him. Allen had only known Hebreska for a few minutes (and he didn't want to know her for any longer) and already Allen was more scared of her than he had been of anyone else in his life (including Cross and he could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be).  
"Ama... Amazing," Hebreska said. "He overcame the anesthesia!"  
Allen wriggled around some more, still trying desperately to escape.  
"You... Your nerves are paralyzed. Don't try to push yourself into activating it," Hebreska said kindly. "Calm down," she added. "I am not your enemy..." Hebreska put her head right next to Allen's. It scared Allen. "Activating... Your anti-akuma weapon... Is very dangerous when you're not fully synchronized... 2% ... 16%... 30... 41... 58... 78... 83..."  
Allen looked at his left arm, which Hebreska let go of. It was back to its normal red self.  
"You're all right now..." Hebreska said. "It looks like 83% is your maximum synchonization with your weapon."  
"Synconization percentage?"  
"It's the life for the anti-akuma weapon activation. The lower the synchronization percentage, the harder it is to activate, and the user may become endangered," Hebreska explained. "I didn't mean to scare you," Hebreska said, gently putting Allen back down on the elevator next to Komui. "I was just... Trying to get to know your innocence."  
Allen was confused. "Get... To know my innocence...?"  
"Allen Walker... Sometime in the black future, your innocence will create an extraordinary 'Time Destroyer.' That is what I have felt. That is my power.  
"Destroyer?" Allen asked. "How amazing."  
"That is probably true!" Komui said. Again Allen had forgotten Komui was there.  
Allen turned around to face Komui looking surprised. "Komui..." he whispered.  
"Hebreska's fortune telling is correct most of the time. Heheheh, we can count on you, Allen!"  
Allen, who was mad at Komui for surprising (not to mention scaring him) by letting Hebreska come and pick him pu with out so much as a warning, punched Komui. Well, he tried. Komui blocked Allen's punch with his clipboard. "Can I hit you once, please?" Allen asked.  
"How, man?" Komui asked. "You already punched..." Allen tried again. "Sorry, sorry. You were surprised, eh? You were scared, I know, I know... Hebra has a scary face... Exorcists who join must be examined by Hebreska. Those are the rules."  
"Please mention those kinds of things beforehand!" Allen yelled, pointing at Komui who was sheepishly holding up his clipboard just in case. "What is 'Innocence' anyways?"  
"I'll explain... Because Innocence is something you exorcists need to know all about," Komui began. "This story is only known to the Black Priests and the Vatican. And also, the Millennium Earl...

"Well then," Komui said, reaching out to shake Allen's hand. "That's about for the long explanation. Let's fight together to save the world. You won't make a single dollar, though." Komui winked and smiled.  
Allen smiled back. "...Sure."

"Welcome to the Black Priesthood."

"Right now, with you in out group, we have found 19 exorcists," Komui said, pointing to a map. "Most are around the world working on different missions, but you'll soon be able to meet them all. By the way, Hebreska is an exorcist too."  
"..." Allen didn't say. "What!"  
"I am a different ... Type than you guys, but I am a compatible person for a cube... Ever since the Teachings started, I have been a Keeper of the Innocence," Hebreska said. "I have met with many exorcists... Allen, may God be with you."

"Whew..." Allen said, glad to be in his room. Lenalee had found it for him. How sweet. It was simply decorated. It had a plain bed in the corner. Boy, it sure did look comfortable. Next to the foot of the bed there was a little cubicle thing with a desk, a chair, a self with some office supplies and books on it, and a computer. There was a large checker rug in the middle of the room and partially under Allen's bed. There was a picture by the bed and a few posters on the wall and a big wooden door. The floor looked like old stone, There were a few cracks in the floor and the wall, but not the big-scary-the-headquarters-is-falling-apart-we're-all-gonna-die-please-help-me kind. They were more like the tiny-mini-I-show-signs-of-wear-'cause-I've-been-used-and-loved type of cracks.  
Allen sat on the floor next to his bed. "Where did Timcampy go...?" he wondered. Allen looked up. "Finally..." he began. "I have come here, Mana. Finally, I'm at the starting line." Allen smiled and reached out and touched the picture.  
'Don't stop walking'  
'Keep moving forth'  
"I don't care about fate. I have chosen this path myself. I promise... Whatever the cost, I won't stop walking. I will keep walking until I die."

Ugh... that was LOOOONG.. =P


End file.
